Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne. Today a member of our community is coming on the

podcast to talk about the topic of grooming. Her name is Rachel, so we're just going to get right into this. Welcome Rachel.

Thanks for having me. When I sent out a request to have a member of our community come on the

podcast and talk about grooming, you to have a member of our community come on the podcast

and talk about grooming.

You responded.

So let's start with that.

When I first saw the post, I actually kind of didn't know what it was,

so I looked it up, and I like oh I understand what that is now and I think

maybe some other women they haven't heard that term yet we kind of hear the terms like gas lighting before this so I think it's maybe a newish

topic to talk about and something I would like to explore more. So we're not talking about

brushing your teeth and combing your hair right we're not talking about brushing your teeth and combing your hair, right? We're not talking about that kind of grooming. We're talking about the kind of grooming that takes place within an abusive relationship. A process that the abusive person

uses at the beginning of the relationship

to prep the relationship, to make sure

that the victim feels safe, to make sure that she's willing to trust him, right?

That's the process we're talking about today.

As you were researching grooming a bit in preparation for this podcast, talk about some of the things you learned.

Basically, you said that it's anything that someone does to seem like they're the night and shining armor.

So I'm kind of confused on the difference

between gas lighting and grooming

because they both kind of make you seem like the crazy person

or the bad person. But it's the intentionality of them doing good things to seem good and hide the bad.

...