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Open to Debate

Is Masculinity A Prison?

Open to Debate

Open to Debate

Education, Society & Culture, News, Government, Politics

4.5 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Men are falling behind in our society, and some point to traditional ideas of masculinity as the cause. What does it mean to “be a man” today, and how do labels like toxic masculinity impact that question? For some men, masculinity is a continually evolving identity that goes beyond narrow definitions placed upon it. For others, it's a rigid set of expectations that results in emotional isolation and other negative outcomes. Now we debate: Is Masculinity A Prison? Arguing Yes: Lux Alptraum, Writer, Journalist, and Sex Educator  Arguing No: Mike Pesca, Host of "The Gist" Podcast    Nayeema Raza, Journalist and Host of "Smart Girl Dumb Questions", is the guest moderator.    Visit OpentoDebate.org to watch more insightful debates.   Subscribe to our newsletter to stay informed on our curated weekly debates, dynamic live events, and educational initiatives.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Race the rudder. Raise the sails. Raise the sales. Captain, an unidentified ship approaching. Over.

0:07.7

Roger that. Wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution?

0:12.7

Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more.

0:19.0

Start converting your B2B audience into high quality leads today. Spent 200 euro on your first campaign and get a free 200 euro credit for the next one. Go to LinkedIn.com slash XXX to claim your offer. Terms and conditions apply. There is no prison. It's not even a Danish prison, right? You're allowed to leave. You're allowed to set your own hours.

0:38.9

I do have to say, if we can't agree that there are gigantic biological imperatives at play

0:45.3

for what is driving, say, crime differences, I don't know that we're going to ever get to a point of

0:50.6

agreement. So many of the ways that men seem really rigidly attached to functionally self-harm,

0:59.5

the way men, even the more evolved progressive men, often still have a lot of difficulty

1:04.6

expressing emotions in ways that are not self-destructive, that like I just, I don't know

1:10.2

how to call it anything other than a prison.

1:12.9

Hi everybody. I'm John Don Van, your moderator and chief at open to debate. This episode was

1:17.1

guest-moderated by my friend and colleague Naima Reza. Naima brings us a funny and fascinating and

1:22.7

sometimes philosophical conversation, which took place live at the comedy cellar in New York City.

1:27.4

Let's bring on Ema to introduce the topic. It's a good one. Do we have any men in the room, by the way? Are there any men here? Oh, my God. You guys have busted out of your prison if you are, in fact, in one. That's amazing. Well, listen, tonight is about men. I think many of you might think every night is about men, and in some ways it is.

1:44.9

But it's really broader than that. It's about whether we as a society might be confining

1:50.0

men, might be incarcerating them even. On TikTok, which is where I think all great wisdom

1:56.3

is dispensed, Andrew Tate provides a script for how to be a real man.

2:05.2

You know, if you scroll through Instagram, you'll see tradwives kind of hunting for a protective,

2:08.9

providing man while they're milking their cows or homesteading or whatever.

2:14.8

And Tucker Carlson is warning of a men, I want to get this right, menpocalypse,

2:15.8

menpocalypse.

2:19.6

And what he calls, quote, the total collapse of testosterone in men. Now, interestingly, our fact checker right before this told me that testosterone

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