Welcome to Love and Abuse Insights. This is an addendum to the regular show that you'll find scattered in between full episodes.

On Insights, I pick random emails that I haven't addressed yet and do my best to provide my insights and opinions.

Everything you hear on this show is for informational purposes only. Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being.

Okay, today's email is, there is no question that I'm in a toxic marriage with a serious control freak.

He showed signs of malignant narcissism for years, but he has mellowed a bit, and he's on better

behavior now.

We get along and we get by, and we function together as a couple.

I do find myself walking on eggshells, which is not fun. He does occasionally stress me out,

but he does a lot for me, and he is the earner, so I'm relieved of that stress. My question is,

what if you're holding on to the lifestyle and financial support, the thought of not being alone,

we are older, and just the fear of going through the pain of divorce and the guilt?

I feel like I have to make a decision of some kind and just lost and confused about what to do.

Some of our values are very much at odds as well. Any podcast episodes or anything

that you can suggest to be helpful? Okay, thanks so much for sharing that. One of the things that

you said right at the very end was some of our values are very much at odds too. And I think your entire question is a values based question.

It's based on what you value over what else you value.

And what I mean by that is what do you value more?

Do you value the lifestyle, the financial security, more than maybe you're not getting like

maybe a daily happiness, a daily comfort, not walking on eggshells every day?

This, to me, does come down to a values question, not saying that, hey, when you have

opposite values or opposing values, that you should just automatically leave, but I am saying

that when you are trying to come up with an answer to your problems,

...