Innjustice

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Relationships, Information, John Hodgman, Justice, Society & Culture, Kids & Family, John Hodgeman, Mac, Knowledge, Pc, Comedy, Show, Jesse Thorn, Judge, World, More

4.8 • 7.9K Ratings

🗓️ 21 June 2017

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Luke brings the case against his fiancee, Quay. They are planning their destination wedding and have a limited number of on-site cabins available. Luke would like to split the cabins 50-50. But, Quay says they should be allocated proportionally, so the two of them have an equal percentage of guests in off-site hotels. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Travis Marttila for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
0:04.4	I'm Baylor F. Jesse Thorn.
0:06.1	This week, in justice, Luke brings the case against his fiancee, Quay.
0:12.0	They are planning their destination wedding.
0:13.8	They have a limited number of on-site cabins available.
0:17.2	Luke would like to split the cabins 50-50.
0:20.9	Quay says they should be allocated proportionally so that the two of them have an equal percentage
0:26.3	of guests in off-site hotels.
0:29.2	Who's right?
0:30.2	Who's wrong?
0:31.2	Only one man can decide.
0:32.9	Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural
0:38.4	reference.
0:39.4	Don't swim in lakes because all lakes are disgusting.
0:45.4	At least the ocean has tides heaving its weeds and slimes and jellies out of your way
0:51.2	every now and then.
0:52.5	But lakes are unmoving, feeded pools full of fish poop and frog parts and the bottom
0:58.2	of every lake is a lovecraftian hellscape.
1:01.8	And I don't want to hear from you people who live in the Great Lakes regions.
1:05.2	I'm sure you will protest that your gigantic stalwart ponds also have tides and are basically
1:10.5	imitation oceans.
1:12.2	That makes it even weirder.
	...

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