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ManTalks Podcast

If You Hate Setting Goals, Do This Instead

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.8591 Ratings

🗓️ 2 January 2025

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Talking points: new year, goals, mindset

Goals don’t always work, especially when the end result requires a more flexible approach, like having a healthier internal dialogue or more intimacy in your relationship. This week, let’s dig into a different approach: non-linear goal setting.


(00:00:00) - Why step-by-step goals may not work, and how to have an aim

(00:06:07) - Let go of the idea that paint-by-numbers is always the way to go, and embrace experimentation

(00:10:424) - Learn how to read the data from your own body

(00:15:16) - Be honest about what is and isn’t working, and pay attention to the unforeseen

(00:19:50) - Maintain your connection to your aim energetically


***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

All right, team, welcome back to The Man Talk Show.

0:08.2

Connor Beaton here.

0:09.5

Today I'm talking about what to do if you don't like setting goals.

0:14.7

Now, I will admit first and format, like straight out the gates, I really don't like goal setting.

0:20.1

I've never been.

0:20.9

I've tried it so many times. I have tried to set goals. I have tried to have smart goals and

0:27.0

a linear trajectory towards very specific outcomes. And for me, it's, I just hate it. I just do not

0:34.3

like it. It doesn't work for me. It feels constricting. I feel caged in. It feels boring. It doesn't

0:40.8

feel adventurous or exciting. And I never stick to it. I almost never stick to it. I will,

0:46.8

however, I will set some targets. You can call those goals. You can call them whatever you want.

0:51.6

But how I approach this is very, very different.

0:54.6

And I've noticed that there's a lot of people that traditional goal setting and goal acquisition

1:00.4

just does not work for them. And so I'm going to be sharing with you what I use and how I go

1:05.5

about actually achieving and accomplishing things in a way that is very, very different.

1:10.7

Goal setting is traditionally something that's very linear.

1:13.9

So you create a goal and then you create a workback plan to attain or reach that goal, right?

1:19.1

And that's what smart goals are, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timebound.

1:23.5

And you can kind of map out every single part of the journey of reaching that goal.

1:29.2

Now, for some things, like, for example, if you're wanting to put on 10 pounds of muscle mass,

1:34.6

there is a very specific trajectory and pathway. That's your goal, right? Putting on 10 pounds

1:40.0

of muscle mass, there's a very specific pathway to get there, and you can chart that out,

1:45.3

and it can be very linear. Same thing with like losing 10 pounds. If you wanted to lose 10 pounds,

...

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