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The Mens Room Daily Podcast

Ian's Border Woes

The Mens Room Daily Podcast

Audacy

Society & Culture

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mens Room Question: Why were you talking to an officer of the law?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

We had the SWAT team from Baltimore go to one of our events because Steve gone on a... Oh, yeah. On a megaphone and started screaming into it. The problem was it was like this huge concrete patio. And where we were downtown, that sound traveled. Oh, yeah. So somebody called the cops and said, man, it sounds like there's a riot going on. I was bitching about our boss because he's a D bag, right? And I was hammered.

0:20.9

I can't remember what had gone down that day, but I was livid at this guy. Still hate his guts. So I'm just screaming into the microphone. I didn't realize that like the riot police had showed up. Oh, they have shields. Oh, yeah. They're in a line. I've never seen anything like this. I've seen plenty of Baltimore cops.

0:36.6

They were not them.

0:38.2

They were not them.

0:38.2

They were a different separate unit that goes out when the S hits a fan.

0:42.0

Yeah.

0:42.5

Oh, and I was just spouting off, man.

0:44.3

I remember Miles just kind of pulled the mic away from my head.

0:47.0

They kind of pointed.

0:47.9

I'm like, oh, damn, all right.

0:50.3

Like, why are they here?

0:51.6

They're here for you.

0:53.4

Exactly.

0:54.3

I didn't know that.

0:55.5

My bad, fellas. And again, they piece together. I'm just some idiot. They left, but I did not notice them show up until Miles got to grab the bag. I was early on in my dating of my current wife. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She was really impressed. That's great stuff. Actually, we didn't event.

1:10.6

We should get married.

1:11.5

It was like a pool hall or something.

1:13.4

I don't remember, but it's a brother wearing a suit. And when he turned around, I saw like the badge clipped on his belt. And he looks at me and he says, are you Stephen Hill? And I said, no. And I started to walk away. And he's like, hey, first of all, I'm from the goddamn FBI. I'm like, I don't know who you're talking about. He's like, God, I'm a fan of the show. I'm like, oh, oh, okay. Yeah, cool. He's like, you seriously are going to lie to an FBI agent? We both know I was because I just did, man. So look, I don't know who who you were but when you got a badge and you're wearing a suit that I don't know to me that means that means that you had an idea of why someone should be coming after you something's in the back of your head going like there might be a reason it's the way he said it you know like he's FBI so I know they're a serious group, but just the way he's like, are you Stephen Hill, right?

2:01.5

There's no smile or anything on his face.

2:03.0

I was like, I'm not, man, and turned around to leave.

2:05.7

And he's like, oh, my God, dude. He's like, I'm an FBI agent. Do not lie to me, and I'm a fan. You know, it's nice to meet you, bro. Nice to meet you. Thank you. It's just like, Jesus Christ.

2:13.8

Why were you speaking to an officer of the law, 206, 803, Rog?

...

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