I Wish It Was You

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Comedy, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 931 Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2024

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Open containers, NASCAR prayers, frustrated wives, and lots of emails… On the net, it’s a positive. ----- JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/ 9/13-9/15 Philadelphia, PA 9/19-9/22 Appleton, WI 9/26 - Sarasota, FL 9/27 - Melbourne, FL 9/28 - Ft. Lauderdale, FL 9/29 - Jacksonville, FL 10/3 - Lima, OH 10/4 - Shipshewana, IN 10/5 - Shipshewana, IN 10/6 - Saginaw, MI 10/17 - Cheyenne, WY 10/18 - Sioux Falls, SD 10/19 - Denver, CO 10/31 - Bakersfield, CA 11/1 - Oxnard, CA 11/2 - Long Beach, CA 11/7 - Savannah, GA 11/8 - Athens, GA 11/9 - Augusta, GA 11/10 - Bristol, TN 11/21 - Midland, TX 11/22 - Lubbock, TX 11/23 - Dallas, TX 12/7 - Chicago, IL 12/8 - Davenport, IA ----- Catch the full video podcast on YouTube, and follow us on social media (@netpositivepodcast) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at [email protected] ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: Instagram Twitter TikTok Facebook YouTube ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS GOODR: Pick up a pair at https://goodr.com/NETPOSITIVE and use code NETPOSITIVE for FREE SHIPPING ROCKET MONEY: Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to https://RocketMoney.com/netpositive MANSCAPED: Get 20% OFF + free shipping with promo code NETPOSITIVE at https://manscaped.com ----- PRODUCED BY: Alex Lagos / Lagos Creative

Transcript

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0:00.0	I called her over to me and told her she looked beautiful, but her button was undone.
0:05.8	In front of the entire table and reception, she started crying her eyes out, pulled me in for an unnecessary hug, and through the tears goes,
0:15.0	I just wish it was you.
0:17.0	Up top, baby, baby, we're rolling jokes for humans, a tour.
0:28.5	Oh, this week's episode's brought to by me.
0:30.7	I'm going on tour.
0:32.3	Ah, this fall, this weekend I'm in Philly, two shows
0:35.4	sold out. I think two still have tickets next weekend, Appleton, Wisconsin, three
0:39.8	shows sold out, two I believe have tickets. Then we're going to Florida, Sarasota, Melbourne, Fort Lauderdale, Jacksonville, Lima, Ohio,
0:47.0	the beginning of October, Shippchawanna, Indiana, three shows, two of them sold out,
0:52.7	Saginaw, Michigan, Cheyenne, Wyoming,
0:55.2	Sioux Falls, Denver.
0:57.6	Low tickets, Baker's Field, low tickets,
0:59.8	oxnard, low tickets, Long Beach, Savannah, Georgia,
1:04.1	Athens, Georgia, Georgia, low tickets, Augusta, Bristol, Tennessee,
1:07.7	second show added.
1:09.2	Midland, Texas, Lubbock, Texas, Dallas, second show added Chicago low tickets and rounding out the tour in the end of
1:17.9	December 8th and Davenport Iowa we back maybe this week's is brought to you by where are they gooder?
1:26.0	Put them on baby, ear boy.
1:28.0	We're dialed in on black on black on black on black with the headphones.
1:32.0	I got the gooders ladies and
1:34.2	gentlemen if you're listening on the Spotify you're missing out because we're
	...

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