I Was Enmeshed with My Mom, with Brett Gelman

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

Mayim Bialik

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Wellness, Health & Fitness, Comedy, Thebigbangtheory, Spirituality, Selfimprovement, Mentalhealth

4.7 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2024

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we're sitting down with the fearless, hilarious, and thoughtful Brett Gelman (Stranger Things, Fleabag) as he opens up about the challenges that have shaped him, from his early battles with OCD and questioning his identity, to intense enmeshment with his mother and overcoming those tendencies as he navigates adult relationships. Brett opens up about: - The ways he felt different growing up - His early experiences with drug use - His OCD around numbers and fear of the future - Why questioning his sexuality as a kid led him to have a breakdown He also shares insights on method acting, the importance of creating space for men to challenge toxic masculinity, and the importance of infusing all of your endeavors with a little bit of yourself. PLUS Mayim explains why self-centeredness may actually be at the root of our attempts at caring for others! This conversation is a must-watch for anyone seeking to understand the intricate dance between our past experiences and our present selves. TUNE IN to find out how facing your past can dramatically reshape your future!

Transcript

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0:00.0	So I would always tell my mother everything that I was doing. I would just be like I did
0:07.8	acid last night and she'd be like I did like a nitrous party last night I was like sucking down like
0:13.9	nitrous balloons do you think it killed like a lot of my brain cells what did what was that
0:17.6	guilt what did that feel like I think I definitely had a massive cod dependent relationship with my mother. She was like God to me and I very much put my well-being and required into her hands and required her to answer questions and comfort me over things.
0:34.6	She couldn't possibly comfort me over because she's not, God.
0:38.9	Am I going to hell?
0:40.4	No, you're not.
0:41.5	Am I gonna like die young? No, you won't. She can't tell me those things.
0:47.6	It still absolutely follows me. Something that I have to work on very hard every day.
0:55.0	This need to connect in that enmeshed way.
1:01.0	It's an addiction.
1:02.0	And I've exhausted a lot of relationships because of that,
1:08.0	you know, and not checking that. And then also getting into relationships that were probably subconsciously going to abuse that as well,
1:19.7	you know, or react to that in a way that wouldn't be healthy for either of us.
1:25.1	My therapist now really put this into a context for me of agency and counter agency.
1:31.1	So like living for other people, living to be that thing that you think they want you to be and then when they don't react how you want them to and don't give you that motherly love that immeshed love or the love that you want from them then taking
1:46.2	revenge on them for them emotionally just getting really upset with them getting
1:51.0	overly irrationally upset.
1:53.6	This thing of like disrespect.
1:55.8	They disrespect me.
1:57.7	They don't disrespect me.
1:59.3	They're just going about, they're trying to do
	...

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