I Thought Hitting My Goals Would Feel Different
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 21 May 2026
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
For so much of my life, I thought certain milestones would fundamentally change me. The relationship, the career growth, the apartment, the race finish line, the goals I spent years chasing. I thought I’d feel more confident, more secure, more fulfilled once I finally got there. But lately, I’ve been realizing how no achievement permanently changes your internal world the way we expect it to. In this solo episode, I’m talking about achievement comedowns, moving goalposts, self-improvement exhaustion, and the pressure to constantly chase the next version of yourself instead of learning how to actually live inside the life you already built.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey guys, it's Alana and welcome back to another episode of seeing other people. |
| 0:08.1 | I just know that you woke up this morning being like, wow, you know what I really want today? |
| 0:13.0 | I want to listen to Alana talk uninterrupted by herself for 40 minutes straight. |
| 0:21.1 | Like that was the first thought you had when you woke up, right? |
| 0:23.9 | It has to be. |
| 0:24.4 | That's why you're here. |
| 0:25.7 | No, today is a solo episode. |
| 0:27.6 | And if you guys have been here for a while, you know that I always psyched myself out |
| 0:30.7 | before going into solo episodes. |
| 0:32.5 | But we did the hardest part, which was getting prepared, getting myself into the chair, |
| 0:39.7 | setting up and hitting record. And I've been telling myself for like three weeks now that I was |
| 0:45.4 | going to record this whole episode. And it's so weird because every time I actually do it, |
| 0:50.3 | I'm like, oh, that was fun. That was easy. That was no big deal. I don't know why I get in my head |
| 0:53.9 | about it. But then a few weeks go by and I don't do it again. And I don't like repeat and flex |
| 0:59.6 | that muscle instantly. And the block, like the wall goes right back up where it takes me so much |
| 1:07.4 | mental energy to get myself to do this. It's so weird. It's like one of those things, |
| 1:12.1 | it's like public speaking. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it or the more |
| 1:17.3 | comfortable you'll get at it. And like, yes, I can't deny in my experience that is true. |
| 1:25.6 | I'm way more comfortable at it than I was before, but I still get like psyched myself |
| 1:30.1 | out before and I still get really worked up. And same thing with like being anxious about a first date |
| 1:36.9 | every single time. But then you go and you survive and you're like, okay, it was no big deal. |
| 1:41.1 | But then you take a few months off from dating. You're like, oh my God, first date ahead. Like, this does feel like a big deal. So that's how I feel about soul episodes. You know, it's been five years of doing this podcast. I guess at this point, that's not going to change. That's just how I'm always going to feel. But the important thing is we made it. And I am really excited for our conversation today. It was |
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