The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hello everybody and welcome to the Bitch Bible podcast.

I'm your host, Jackie Shimmel.

Forgive me if I sound just a touch for Lauren.

It is a Monday, mid afternoon and I spent the past hour and 36 minutes in a fluorescent lit conference room of the 101 freeway.

Going over some of my financials and adult-like decision-making process is,

when I tell you that I would rather go to an afternoon tea with Adolf Hitler, followed by a sticking dull butter knives at my asshole at six minute intervals for all of eternity, that sounds like more fun than my fucking morning.

I don't want to sound dumb or soft-mouric, but when I tell you wholeheartedly that I give absolutely zero fucks about finances, investing, retirement funds, finra, set 401k's, life insurance-

I care about an under-life insurance policy, but none of those things interest me.

I have the great luxury of not participating in people, places, or things that do not interest me.

I've made it my mission statement and the trajectory of my life that I just say no.

The problem with Judaism and Judaism by proxy is that you're naturally born into financially overbearing ancestors and relatives that make your financial stability their personal interest.

And therefore you are, you know, bogarded and suffocated with resources that you have to utilize or you will never hear the end of it.

I glazed after about 12 minutes because I was literally counting the cracks on the ceiling because I have no clue what any of these men

in their pressed Brooks brothers, trousers are talking about.

And when I tell you that I don't care, I don't care.

I like to live fast and die old.

You know what I mean? I'm not worried. I should be, but I don't live my life operating through fear.

You know, I think that optimism is my compass and, you know, if shit hits the fan, I will sell and draw off to sex trafficking sell his sperm, you know, on Alvaro street or sell pictures of my feet.

It's just a soul crushing experience. You know what I said, they're like, you know, it's important to make these investments and diversify your stock portfolio so that, you know, 30 years from now, you'll have a nice cushion.

You could borrow again, say it's medium risk.

I'm like, a B C D E F G. I am going to parry.

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