It seems like we need to continue a conversation that was begun last week's episode, 744,

on how do I make my spouse care or help my spouse care, because an email came in and shortly

after it aired that sets the stage for where we're going to go today. It's a continuation in some ways,

but we're also going to go maybe a little bit of different. We'll see. So this is from a wife

saying, I love listening to your podcast. Just heard your episode 744 where you addressed

a wife's concern about getting her husband to care about himself. And I'm in a somewhat

similar but reversed

situation. It's been eight years since my husband and I have been intimate. Last March, he told me

it's because I'm overweight and messy. I've been working hard to make changes. I've lost 22 pounds,

and I've been focusing on eating better and exercising, but he's never acknowledged these efforts.

I'm dealing with some additional challenges too.

I'm away from home, 11 to 12 hours a day during the week, and I'm working with doctors on

autoimmune issues.

Meanwhile, he doesn't help with housework.

We've been sleeping in separate bedrooms for over a year.

He stays up late, sometimes until 2, three, or even four in the morning,

while I have to get up at 4.30 in the morning at most days. He spends all day and night in his office

and he doesn't really try to interact with me. I've stopped trying to initiate any connection,

and honestly, I've become pretty numb and unmotivated when it comes to our marriage. I know he

loves me, but it feels more like family or friendship

rather than marriage love. I know I need to keep working on myself, but how do I address his

lack of effort in improving himself and our closeness? He also has a sleep apnea. He snores and

...