I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 16.4K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2026

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future, if any, might be possible for them. A painful misalignment lies at the center of their polyamorous relationship. She wants to be an integrated part of his life, including his other partnerships; he wants to keep his relationships separate and invisible. Tired of feeling like a secret, she finally gave him an ultimatum: make me a visible part of your life. He wouldn't do it, and now they are left wondering if it will be possible to stay together. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. My annual Sessions Live two-day live event is coming up next month! Through clinical, cultural, and creative perspectives, Sessions Live 2026: Cultivating Aliveness: Desire & Its Disruptions explores how relationships are evolving, and how we can translate those insights into practice. Whether you’re a practicing clinician or curious mind, you’ll discover fresh insights and takeaways to help you connect and thrive. Come see me live on May 15th and 16th in NYC! Podcast listeners get a special discount with the code FRIENDSLIVE to get $100 off an in-person ticket, or FRIENDSVIRTUAL for $50 off a virtual ticket at checkout on the Sessions Live ticket page. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	None of the voices in this series are ongoing patients of Esther Perel.
0:05.0	Each episode of Where Should We Begin is a one-time counseling session.
0:10.0	For the purposes of maintaining confidentiality, names and some identifiable characteristics have been removed,
0:17.0	but their voices and their stories are real.
0:28.9	Support for Where Should We Begin comes from Collette Travel Services.
0:34.9	Solo travel is all about exploring with freedom, and with Colette, that freedom comes with confidence.
0:36.4	Their guided tours are designed by travelers for
0:39.6	travelers so you can experience destinations you've always dreamt of exploring through the lens of a
0:45.7	local. Solo travelers can now save up to a thousand dollars on select small group exploration
0:52.9	tours and departures.
0:55.8	Start your journey at gocollette.com slash ester.
0:59.8	That's go-c-o-l-l-L-E-T-E dot com slash ester.
1:06.5	Take this Holland and Barrett ad break to listen to your body.
1:10.0	Is your body after some energy support from Solgars magnesium citrate?
1:13.9	Or maybe it's after a kick of applied nutrition critical weight protein for leg day.
1:19.0	Is it looking to iron out tiredness with Vitabiotics Ferroglobin?
1:22.9	Or is your body simply saying,
1:24.7	You've got to show me love.
1:27.0	Find the brands that help you back your body at Holland and Barrett.
1:30.8	Magnesium contributes to normal energy yielding metabolism.
1:33.0	Protein contributes to the growth in maintenance and muscle mass.
1:35.1	Ion contributes to reduction of tightness and fatigue.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 4 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Esther Perel Global Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Esther Perel Global Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.