Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on where you are on the planet.

This is ill-advised by Bill Nye, and I am Bill Nye, and I'm here to answer your questions without actually making things worse.

And it's a great day in London Town. Spring has finally arrived arrived and it's a great day to give up smoking.

It's a refuge here for the clumsy and the awkward and if you're socially adept and enjoy healthy

relationships, there's nothing for you here. If you enjoy dinner parties and are good in bed,

there's nothing for you here. If you wear shorts to the theatre, there is nothing for you here.

If you do wear shorts to the theatre, at least don't sit in the front row, particularly if I'm in the show.

I was once in a show with Anthony Hopkins playing his Australian sidekick to his South African tycoon,

who was relaxing in his fabulous home in Weybridge in a kimono,

practicing a fictional martial art called Toyinka,

which involved a six-foot bamboo cane, which he would swing violently around

and bring it down sharply, mouthing impenetrable Japanese grunts.

And there was a young man in the Olivier Theatre at the National Theatre in London

who not only wore shorts to the theatre, but he had the terrible idea of crossing his ankles

on the stage. He was in the front row, so he just sat there and put his feet up on the stage

in front of Anthony Hopkins, who's carrying a six-foot bamboo cane.

And he crossed his ankles on the stage, and so he could relax, like he was watching TV.

And I saw Anthony spot him, and I feared for the boy.

And Anthony screamed in some kind of Japanese and brought the bamboo cane down so

violently within an inch of this kid's head that the boy's legs retreated into his torso.

He got his legs off that stage as quick as he's ever done anything in his life so far.

And he was absolutely terrified. And the silence was, you know, deep. No one was breathing in the thousand-seater. And my next line,

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