Smoke This And Your Hair Will Grow
ill-advised by Bill Nighy
EYEPOD Studios
5.0 • 642 Ratings
🗓️ 30 April 2026
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Bill attempts to answer your questions on swimming attire, best dressed rock stars and electrical safety.
The playlist in this episode is called 'Not Quite Evening' and includes:
‘Sometimes Always’ by The Jesus & Mary Chain
‘Would You Rather’ by Phoebe Bridges
‘We Were Cool’ by Lori McKenna
‘Tim McGraw’ by Taylor Swift
‘Love Letter’ by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
‘Crazy Face’ by Van Morrison
You can find a link to the playlist on Spotify here
And you can find it on Apple Music here
The book of the episode is 'Devil in a Blue Dress' by Walter Mosley
We'd love to hear from you - you can email us here - (contactus@ill-advisedbybillnighy.com) or send us a message via instagram here
Keep your questions, regrettable band names, lyrics and banned words coming.
If you like to hear more of Bill, you can join him on Patreon in The Back Room of ill-advised - www.patreon.com/illadvisedbybillnighy - for bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to new episodes, events and merchandise - see you there.
If you like to hear more of Bill, you can join him on Patreon in The Back Room ( www.patreon.com/illadvisedbybillnighy ) - for bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to new episodes, events and merchandise - see you there.
If you would like to join, it's important to sign up online first to avoid the Apple fees in their app, you can then download it later.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on where you are on the planet. |
| 0:06.0 | This is ill-advised by Bill Nye. I am Bill Nye and I'm here returning to my quest, which is to answer your questions and not actually make things worse. |
| 0:19.0 | This is a podcast for people who don't get out much, |
| 0:21.3 | and when they do, they wish they hadn't. |
| 0:23.5 | If you wear shorts to the theatre |
| 0:25.6 | and are drawn to the manosphere, |
| 0:28.4 | there's nothing for you here. |
| 0:30.0 | Thank you for all your questions, |
| 0:31.3 | but do try and remember that I know |
| 0:33.1 | as much about the world |
| 0:35.0 | and how to answer your questions as you do. |
| 0:36.9 | If you ever catch me |
| 0:38.3 | answering questions on anything serious like sexual relations or how to get ahead in business, |
| 0:43.5 | call a cab. |
| 0:47.8 | Hi, Bill. This is Sarah calling from the Cotswolds. I live in a cemetery, which wasn't disclosed on |
| 0:53.9 | the listing, but I'd flown |
| 0:55.2 | interview the property. It was within my budget, and I like the dead quiet. My problem is that |
| 1:02.1 | couriers usually won't deliver packages, thinking no one would be mad enough to live in a cemetery. |
| 1:08.1 | I once had a spook cab driver leave me outside the gates at 2 a.m. as he didn't want to |
| 1:13.6 | enter. And a late-night pizza delivery guy boarding delivery thinking he was being punked. There's no house |
| 1:20.5 | number, but the previous owners graciously changed the name from cemetery lodge to something a lot nicer, |
| 1:27.4 | but I feel I'm doomed to |
... |
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