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I'm 11 Jennifer. Welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Um, I thought I'd I thought I'd call you because um,

The thing I need help with is for a long time now I've had a hard time feeling free to be myself around other people and um,

it seems like such a silly thing, but no matter what I've done to work through it, I still struggle and.

How do you know when you're not being yourself? How do you know when that's happening?

I know because when I was when I was really young, I remember I would go I had my mom would take me to daycare 6 a.m.

Pick me up at 6 30. Shuffle me to activities and I never really had my mom around so I knew because when I'd be at school, I feel free. I feel like myself.

I would it was I liked who I was and then as soon as she would pick me up, I would turn it off. Hide any emotion. I wouldn't share about my day.

I would keep things close to my heart because the reaction she would have when I would tell her things would be like, this isn't my daughter or like it would just be like, she couldn't understand me and would just make me feel so weird.

So I just wanted to um, to just shut that off and not show anything to her and just take care of her.

So I think that's why it's hard for me is I've always felt the difference and probably about, I don't know, in high school at some point, is when I just completely stop being the person that everyone knew me to be.

And I just try really hard, but what sparked me calling about this was my daughter recently passed away and I never had a good relationship with him.

But I thought my parents were divorced but I thought when he passed away, I would feel differently about some things and for a lot of my childhood, I thought well when my mom, when my mom dies, like I'll be free.

I won't have to take care of her anymore. I won't have to worry about you know, making sure that I'm in the same state as her close by or just all the pressure she put on me to, you know, be everything for her.

So I just thought I would feel free and like that was the key that one day when she passes away, I can just be comfortable with who I am.

But now I'm realizing that that's not the case because nothing changed from my dad died and I think it's weird that I'm almost 40.

And I have an issue like this and like a young child, this should have already been processed.

And so I was just hoping you might have some insight because I work really hard on it and I start friendships and I surround myself with it.

Still, I help you. I believe I can help.

Okay.

So let's do a little work. I have to take a break.

However, you have a homework assignment during the break.

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