How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

Girlfriends (A Podcast for Catholic Women)

Danielle Bean

Kids & Family, Parenting, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 810 Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2018

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Listener Tarcy reaches out this week with a question about how to stop yelling at her kids. She recognizes that it’s a bad habit, but struggles to stop. Do you yell at your kids sometimes? Or maybe your husband? Or co-workers? Let’s talk about why this happens and some ideas for ways to stop. Follow through. We need to teach our kids that we mean what we say the first time we say it, and this requires upfront discipline on our part. So hard! And yet so worthwhile in the long term! Listen to yourself. Pay attention to the ways you communicate to others, especially when angry or frustrated, and decide if that is what you want for your personal relationships. Remember that your kids will copy what you do. Do you want them to be “yellers”? Pay attention to the example you are setting. Whisper, or use a very calm and quiet voice to get your kids’ attention. It works surprisingly well! Check in with yourself and ways you might be tempted to compare yourself to others. Often, our frustrations with our families are borne of unfair comparisons to others. When you mess up, say you’re sorry. It is valuable for our kids to see ways in which we fall short of our ideals and how we work to fix it when that happens. Forgive yourself, and give them the opportunity to forgive you too! I also address a listener’s question about how to talk to friends and family who are leaving the Church because of the recent scandals. "When my kids were very little, I remember my oldest daughter running away from me when I was calling her to come do something, and I felt and heard that pounding blood pressure in my ears. I was having a physical response to the level of frustration I was feeling..."

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Girlfriends, episode number 139. How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids.
0:12.4	Hello and welcome to Girlfriends. I'm Danielle Bean. I'm a wife and a mom and I'm on a mission to help you know your worth as a woman so you can find peace,
0:22.5	balance, and joy in family living.
0:24.8	This week we're talking about how you can break the bad habit of yelling no matter who you're
0:29.0	yelling at.
0:29.8	This is a good one.
0:30.6	Stick around.
0:31.1	Here we go.
0:55.9	Hey, girlfriends. How are you? Thanks for showing up. Thanks for being here. I'm happy to be connecting with you on a new episode of the Girlfriends Podcast. You know I love it when we can get together in this way. I am recording this early in the morning out in my yard and it's still beautiful summer weather here in New Hampshire and I will take it for as long as it lasts because all too soon I'm going to be
1:01.4	stuck in the house I just know it so a beautiful beautiful really warm days and we had a beautiful
1:08.3	labor day weekend and my parents came up it was my mom's birthday over the weekend and we had a beautiful Labor Day weekend and my parents came up. It was my mom's birthday over the weekend.
1:14.0	And we took my mom and dad out in our boat on Lake Winipasaki. Just a really beautiful, fun,
1:20.6	family-focused weekend with the very few kids we have here. I'm very aware of the fact that my family has been cut in half
1:29.4	at the start of this school year with kids going away and whatnot. Um, yeah, I used to have eight
1:35.2	kids. Now most days I've got four around here, which I know to many people is still a crowd. And I know
1:40.9	even smaller days are to come, but I'm still making that adjustment. I'm still
1:44.5	adjusting to that myself. But it's not all bad. And like I've talked about in previous episodes where we
1:50.5	discuss the art of letting go and how hard that can be, especially this time of year when kids are
1:56.5	leaving, there are good things about it. And I'm trying to focus on the positive things, you know,
2:01.9	like the other morning when I found myself alone at home with just Danny and Rafe, my two
2:07.4	youngest boys, that felt weird. But it also felt kind of awesome. Like it was peaceful. It was
2:13.8	quiet. We could do something calm together. I could focus on my work. There are good things
	...

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