How to Stay EVEN KEELED When Triggered or Emotionally HURT | Tom and Lisa Bilyeu

Women of Impact

Impact Theory

Education, Society & Culture, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On Today's Episode: In a healthy loving relationship, neither partner is looking for ways to hurt their partner’s feelings. On a long enough time line, however, hurting each other's feelings or accidentally pushing each other’s trigger points is bound to happen. It doesn’t mean there’s any love lost, but it doesn’t mean that work needs to be done to diffuse the situation, resolve the issue, and reconnect. Tom and Lisa have come up with a few ways of handling these rare moments for when sh*t hits the fan, tempers flare and feelings are hurt. Their tips will help you stay even-keeled and minimize any relationship damage by sharing tactics for you to put into place long before the next argument happens. The key is not pretending or fooling yourselves into thinking, “that’ll never happen”. The key is to be prepared and have these conversations while you’re emotionally sober. Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships. Follow Tom Bilyeu: Website: https://impacttheory.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TomBilyeu Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tombilyeu Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tombilyeu/ Follow Lisa Bilyeu: Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu Are You Ready for EXTRA Impact? Calling all Badasses!! If you really want to level up your confidence game, check out the WOMEN OF IMPACT SUBSCRIPTION, specially designed to turn you into the badass you were born to be! Women of EXTRA Impact Subscription Benefits: New episodes delivered ad-free Exclusive access to listen to Women of Impact round table discussions, weekly motivation, previously unreleased episodes, and more! Subscriber-only access to an additional 4 podcasts with hundreds of archived Women of Impact episodes, meticulously curated into themed playlists, and updated weekly. Looking to boost your confidence? Check out the Get Confident playlist. Want to repair and heal your relationships? Start with Love Lab. Curious about your health? We’ve got you covered in Health Hub. And of course, weekly boosts of mini-motivation from Lisa herself that'll have you strutting through life with your head held high on the Badass Boosts playlist Don't settle for mediocrity when you can be extraordinary! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/457ebrP Subscribe on all other platforms (Google Podcasts, Spotify, Castro, Downcast, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, Podcast Republic, Podkicker, and more) : https://impacttheorynetwork.supercast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	When you love someone, like really, really love someone, you don't want to hurt them, right?
0:07.4	You want them to be happy.
0:09.7	But inevitably, if you've been in a lot of relationship long enough, like me and Tom, no matter how much we love each other,
0:16.0	no matter how much you want them to be happy, no matter how much you would sacrifice for them,
0:20.6	there's going to be moments where you've really upset them.
0:23.6	They've really upset you.
0:25.6	Now, none of this may be deliberate, and that's the first key, guys.
0:28.6	You've got to figure out if it's deliberate or not, because if it's deliberate, get out of the relationship.
0:32.6	But if it's not deliberate, how on earth in those moments do you navigate that? Because sometimes it doesn't feel like the other person isn't deliberately hurting you.
0:41.7	So when you're in those situations where maybe you have accidentally hurt your partner,
0:46.1	how on earth do you smooth things out?
0:48.3	Or vice versa, if they really hurt you and you feel like, oh my God, like I can't believe they've just said that to me how on earth
0:56.4	do you come together how do you reconnect because it is inevitable as much as you don't want to
1:03.2	it's going to be inevitable that you're going to find yourself in this situation if you're in a
1:06.8	relationship for long enough and so these are the moments in those situations in moments, how on earth do you show up, how do you handle it when
1:15.6	the shit hits the fan and you feel shitty because you've really hurt your partner or
1:20.3	they've hurt you?
1:21.8	Well, today we go over exactly how you navigate these situations to come out even stronger.
1:28.3	Yes guys, I know you're going to think I'm briecing you, but I'm really not. I'm telling you now.
1:32.3	There are moments where Tom and I have budded heads. I've been so upset because he's upset me so much.
1:37.3	And yet by the end of it, because we've been able to navigate it, we actually end up closer than ever before.
1:43.3	So let's dive in right now and find
	...

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