How to Spot Red Flags Early with a Former Military Interrogator

Seeing Other People

Ilana Dunn

Relationships, Society & Culture, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Social Sciences, Science

4.5 • 608 Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2025

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’m joined by Lena Sisco, former military interrogator and author of The 13 Power Moves of Dark Psychology, to break down how to spot lies, manipulation, and red flags early—especially in dating. We talk about why confidence can be misleading, how manipulators control conversations, and the subtle signs someone is lying or withholding information. Lena shares practical tools for dating apps, first dates, and relationships, including when to trust your gut, what questions to ask, and when walking away is the safest choice.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, I have been thinking about how to introduce today's guest for a few weeks now,
0:09.6	because there's so much that she has done and there is so much about who she is.
0:15.6	And I've tried over and over to memorize this introduction and I just have to read it off
0:20.6	so that I don't mess
0:21.4	anything up. But I am honored to have Lena Sisko on the pod today. Lena is a former
0:26.4	Department of Defense certified military interrogator, a naval human intelligence officer, and
0:33.3	the author of honest dancers you're lying. And now her new book, The 13 Power Moves of Dark Psychology, Lena, that doesn't even scratch the surface of honest dancers, You're Lying, and now her new book, The 13 Power Moves of Dark
0:38.5	Psychology.
0:39.7	Lena, that doesn't even scratch the surface of the work that you've done.
0:42.8	I am so, so pleased to have you.
0:44.7	Welcome to seeing other people.
0:46.3	Thank you so much for having me as your guest.
0:49.2	I have a million questions, but I have to start as, how did you get here? Like, why did you
0:57.2	aspire as a young girl to be an interrogation officer? How did that unfold? I didn't,
1:05.5	actually. It was completely by accident. I had no plans to ever join the military, never mind, become
1:13.7	an interrogator. It just happened by coincidence. I was an archaeologist. It was my dream
1:20.3	to become, as a little girl, to become an archaeologist. And I did. I got a master's degree in it.
1:25.7	I was digging overseas in Greece and Italy and life was awesome.
1:30.3	Until it was after I got my master's and I was going for my PhD and they put a pause on the
1:36.1	program at Brown and they were like, you have to choose between classics and art history. I didn't
1:41.8	want either. So I got, I stopped. And I didn't have a job.
1:45.5	And so my friend was like, why don't you join the military reserves? And I was like,
	...

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