Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive coaching tips

designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henshel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about how to set boundaries.

Mendelite felt like a victim of her own success.

The leaders at her company moved her wherever a team was underperforming.

She'd become known as someone willing to do whatever was asked of her, a loyal team player

good at her work and uncomplaining.

I experienced Mendelite as smart, action-oriented, and extremely kind.

Sometimes her kindness became a liability.

She would shy away from advocating for her team or for herself.

Now, several months into our coaching, she wanted help, with speaking up.

She said, I'm not certain, but I have the feeling the leadership team is going to ask me to move again.

Wow, I said, they have a lot of faith in you.

She nodded and gave a tired smile. They do.

But this time I don't want to go. I want to stay with this team.

I've really fallen in love with them and the work is great.

I'm not ready to leave.

I asked, what do you think they'd say if you told them that?

Well, that's the problem, Tom. I'm not sure I have the guts to tell them.

I think what's going to happen is that they'll ask me to move and I'll be a good girl and say,

sure anything you want, and I'll move and hate myself afterward.

I said nothing. I was interested to see where her thoughts would take her.

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