Welcome back to the look and sound of leadership, an ongoing series of executive coaching tips

designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henshel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about holding boundaries.

Mandeliet and I had tackled an idea that unsettled her setting boundaries.

She was a lifelong good girl who, despite her success in business, often struggled to advocate

for herself.

After we'd explored the idea of setting a boundary, she asked, suppose I do set a boundary.

I'm guessing that's not the end of the conversation.

What happens next?

I smiled and said, then you have to hold it.

She gave a little grunt, you know, I hear those words and I think of going to war.

It terrifies me.

I nodded, you know, some people do go to war, don't they?

But you know, that is not what I mean by holding a boundary.

Holding a boundary to me is meant to be healthy.

Like I said before, boundaries are self-care.

Are you worried about going to war?

I'm not sure.

I guess a little.

I worry the leadership team will think I'm a whiner or a bitch.

Would that be a war?

No, probably not, because I'd surrender right away so they don't get upset.

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