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The Look & Sound of Leadership

How to Manage Defensive People

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

Education, Executive Coaching, Self-improvement, Executive Presence, Careers, Business, Management

4.81.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 August 2025

⏱️ 28 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope. All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills R...

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everyone, Tom here.

0:01.7

A quick word before we begin.

0:04.2

Something happened recently that I am coming to believe is not all that unusual.

0:09.6

Recently, within the span of about one month, I found myself talking with three different clients who had no relationship to each other.

0:17.2

I found myself three times talking about managing people who are highly defensive.

0:24.5

I can go a whole year without talking about that topic, and then suddenly within one month the topic

0:29.9

comes up three times, it caught my attention. Topics coming in waves has happened to me before.

0:37.7

So, as I say, perhaps it's not that unusual.

0:41.1

And maybe it's not just my three clients who have this on their minds right now.

0:47.2

With that thought in mind, I want to offer you the same two tools I shared with my three clients.

0:53.4

The first is a PDF called Managing Defensive Employees.

0:58.6

All three of these clients found it helpful.

1:01.3

You can download it from our Tools Bin or just look in the show notes.

1:05.2

There's a link there.

1:06.1

Help yourself.

1:07.1

That's tool number one.

1:09.0

Second, that PDF was created to support an episode called Taming the Defensiveness Dragon.

1:18.9

I listened back to the episode when the topic came up with the first client, and I was surprised by how many tools were in it.

1:25.8

I ended up sharing that episode with all three clients.

1:29.0

They all found different things in it that were very helpful for them.

1:32.7

So I'm reminding you about the PDF.

1:35.2

That's number one.

...

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