I'm Rufus Griskem, and this is the last few weeks bouncing from one gathering to the next.

And here's the thing, most of them probably

felt kind of forgettable. We show up, we make small talk, we eat too much cheese, and we go home. Rinse

and repeat through New Year's. But it doesn't have to be this way. Back in January 2020, I sat down with Priya Parker, a conflict resolution specialist

who's worked on peace processes around the world to talk about her book, The Art of Gathering.

What she told me changed how I think about every dinner party, every work meeting, every family

got together I host.

This conversation was five years ago and it still sticks with me.

Priya's argument is simple but radical.

She says most of our gatherings fail because we focus on the wrong things.

We obsess over the menu, the playlist, and we ignore the one question we really should be asking,

why are we bringing these people together?

With the right answers to that question, she says, you can turn any gathering into something meaningful,

maybe even transformative.

I wanted to reshared this conversation in the hopes that it might inspire you as you host or attend

holiday gatherings this week. Because if you believe that our interactions with other humans are the most

meaningful part of our lives, and I think they are, then learning how to design those interactions

might be the most important skill any of us can develop. One more thing, if you're headed into any holiday gatherings this week and don't want to show up empty-handed,

a subscription to the Next Big Idea Club is kind of the perfect last-minute gift.

Members get the six best new books of the year, invites to private Q&As with top authors,

ad-free versions of this show, access to our

members-only WhatsApp community, and more. You can sign someone up in minutes at nextbigidea club.com.

...