How to Make Friends as an Adult

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2019

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

John Kim (The Angry Therapist) is doing things differently. Therapy in a shotglass. Ten minutes, no filler.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	My name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who decided to show himself many years ago after divorce, something therapist aren't supposed to do.
0:10.0	I'm casual overclinical, put things into a shot glass bring them to street level because self-help
0:16.2	doesn't have to be so complicated. One of the common frustrations I get from my clients is how do we make friends as adults.
0:29.0	Before I give you my tips, I'll give you two quotes.
0:33.2	One is by Matthew Liberman, and he says
0:39.4	our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water and my other quote is from a
0:47.6	person named Garth Cook, Pulture Prize winning journalist and he says the data suggests that we are
0:57.3	profoundly shaped by our social environment and that we suffer greatly when our
1:01.9	social bonds are threatened or severed.
1:04.7	When this happens in childhood, it can lead to long-term health and educational problems.
1:09.9	People may not like the fact that we are wired such that our well-being depends on our
1:14.4	connections with others but the facts are the facts. And I wanted to start with
1:20.4	those quotes because I wanted to prove to you or really emphasize how important it is to have friends. I know for me, just you know about 10 years ago or most of my 20s and 30s I didn't think
1:39.2	friends were important I thought friends were extra I was you know all about building something and of
1:45.1	course I've most of my life I've been in a relationship so I was like it's just
1:48.7	about spending all your time with your partner you know your partner is your best
1:52.0	friend why do you need friends who cares about
1:54.1	friends? And it's not that I didn't have friends, well actually, no, I didn't have friends.
1:59.4	I had a lot of acquaintances, but not like real friends, right right and I always just saw it as like on the
2:06.6	bottom of my priority list to invest in and have friends so today after my whole journey and rebirth post-divorce, I have realized how
2:19.1	important friends are. I mean if it wasn't for my friends. I don't know if I would have like come out the other side, you know, it was it was a group of friends about five that I spent with almost every day and did life together
2:38.0	where they encouraged me and championed my story and really sharpened me and
	...

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