How to Love Yourself (Even When There’s No Self)
A New Way of Being
Simon Mundie
4.8 • 523 Ratings
🗓️ 11 November 2025
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What does it mean to love yourself, when there’s no self to love?
In this solo reflection, I explore the paradox at the heart of awakening — how deep self-love can arise once the illusion of a separate self begins to dissolve. I touch on fear, separation, intuition, truth, and what my two-year-old daughter is teaching me about unapologetic presence.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | How can you love yourself if there is no self? What a brilliant question. And I'm addressing |
| 0:10.7 | this conundrum after receiving the following comment under my last solo video from one Dr. Fuzzyface. |
| 0:19.8 | And he says, if separation is an illusion, then there is no self. |
| 0:26.5 | Therefore, how can you learn to love yourself if there is no self? |
| 0:31.5 | Well, doctor, that is a brilliant comment. So let's address that here. How can we marry these two seemingly |
| 0:40.2 | contradictory things and perhaps coming up with a clearer way of talking about it too. So let's |
| 0:46.1 | start with no self. What does no self mean? Well, we tend to think of ourselves as separate |
| 0:52.0 | individuals alone and adrift in a hostile universe. And that universe and the |
| 0:59.2 | people in it could theoretically squash us at any moment. And whatever happens, we are careering |
| 1:04.9 | towards our eventual demise and death. And so this belief that we are separate from the universe and everyone and everything |
| 1:12.3 | creates a tremendous amount of fear, understandably. And that fear creates the zero-sum game. |
| 1:20.8 | It creates the tribalism. It creates the us-ve-them narratives that we see so commonly. |
| 1:27.0 | You only have to turn on the news and see the belief in |
| 1:30.9 | separation and how that manifests in terms of utter dysfunction. And non-duality is the recognition |
| 1:39.0 | that separation is an illusion. And awakening is a direct experience of that. And yes, I would say it is an |
| 1:49.2 | experience. Others say it's not an experience. It is a direct experience of that. When you see clearly, |
| 1:56.3 | of course, I am the universe. The universe coalescing in this unique vantage point to observe itself appearing as the manifest universe, as people, seemingly other people, and things, and however it appears. So it is the universe |
| 2:22.1 | experiencing itself in the form of this manifest universe and everything. The 10,000 things as they |
| 2:29.6 | say. And when you have a direct experience of that, of course it comes as such a relief and you experience a complete loss of that fear that was previously there. |
| 2:42.1 | And it comes with love and joy and peace and all those things. |
| 2:47.9 | And crucially love because fear is a direct consequence of a belief in |
| 2:54.3 | separation. Love is a direct consequence of a seeing that separation is an illusion. Why, of course, |
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