How To Let Go of ADHD Shame
How To! with Mike Pesca
Peach Fish Projects
4.3 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 5 August 2025
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame.
Dr. Wheeler's Resources and Recommendations
- Sarah's Substack and podcast
- More about Sarah and her work
- Joan Wilder's site Help for Women with ADHD
- Salif Muhamane's Ted Talk, "ADHD Sucks, But Not Really"
- Kate Weber's Women & ADHD podcast
- You've Always Been This Way: "Hello, I'm New Here," by McSweeney's columnist Taylor Harris
Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It)
How can How To! help you?? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.
The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius. |
| 0:22.6 | Talk about generational talent. |
| 0:23.7 | Coming to headphones near you on |
| 0:25.0 | April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. Available wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:30.5 | I recently heard Amy Poehler say that either you're annoying or boring. You have to pick one. |
| 0:36.7 | And I fully think I fall into the annoying camp rather than the boring. |
| 0:44.2 | Welcome to how to where we welcome you no matter which camp you fall into. |
| 0:48.6 | You know, each week on the show, we talk with a listener about something they're struggling to navigate. |
| 0:52.8 | And we bring in an expert |
| 0:54.3 | with personal experience to give them guidance. I'm Carveau Wallace. And Amy Polar aside, |
| 1:00.9 | if we were to turn back the clock to a young Jesse 30 years ago, I don't think we'd find a kid |
| 1:05.5 | who was annoying, excited, maybe, excellent student, absolutely. Enthusiasmastic, for sure. It's funny because these are the |
| 1:13.6 | traits we'd all say we'd want to see in our kids. But for Jessie, it felt like she might be |
| 1:20.0 | too much. I was just a really, like, passionate kid. And in fourth grade, I just have such a visceral memory of trying out |
| 1:31.2 | for the school play and just like closing my eyes and singing this solo so passionately and opening |
| 1:37.2 | my eyes and I had a teacher who was laughing at me and that was like my experience throughout my childhood was just, you're just so |
| 1:47.0 | enthusiastic. Everything is too much, you know, too loud, too aggressive about your ideas, |
| 1:54.3 | interrupting people. Feeling okay about yourself in grade school is hard enough. And it's especially |
| 2:00.2 | hard when everyone |
| 2:01.1 | around you is always telling you to tone it down. |
| 2:04.4 | Even though Jesse's grades were okay, and she was hitting all the academic benchmarks, her |
| 2:08.6 | perceptive mom still had a feeling that there was some kind of trouble with her kid. |
... |
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