How To Raise a Kid in a Polarized Family
How To! with Mike Pesca
Peach Fish Projects
4.3 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 9 August 2025
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives.
If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns.
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius. |
| 0:22.6 | Talk about generational talent. |
| 0:23.7 | Coming to headphones near you on |
| 0:25.0 | April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. Available wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:30.0 | This makes me sound not like a great person. My husband and I have this dream of making a bingo |
| 0:35.3 | card. Every time somebody says something sexist, |
| 0:38.5 | and every time somebody mentions the industrial complex is burning down our food infrastructure, |
| 0:44.7 | we're going to check a box. |
| 0:46.1 | If you are a terrible person, I am a terrible person because I have actually made a bingo card, |
| 0:50.8 | which is making me laugh so hard when you said that up. |
| 0:53.5 | I need the template. |
| 0:56.0 | Hello and welcome to how to, the show where listeners bring us their tangliest questions |
| 1:01.3 | and we find an expert to help them sort it out. I'm Courtney Martin. Today's question is, |
| 1:08.0 | well, pretty tangly. It involves our deepest core beliefs, you know, the things |
| 1:13.0 | that define us as parents and partners, and what happens when those beliefs aren't compatible |
| 1:18.5 | with those of our extended families? Today's listener, Sarah, is a research scientist by day, |
| 1:24.4 | but in her personal life, she's exploring big questions about in-laws, values, |
| 1:29.5 | and the things we teach our kids. My husband and I have a daughter, and she is, as I say, |
| 1:37.0 | three going on 13, as cliche as that is. We are trying to raise her to be a really justice-oriented kid and really confident in herself and confident in her ability to navigate the world. |
| 1:51.0 | And we have family that have viewpoints that are kind of at odds with that. |
| 1:56.9 | Sarah says she loves her husband's family and they're all really close. His parents live more than |
| 2:02.5 | a thousand miles away, but Sarah and her family visit several times a year, sometimes for weeks at a time. |
... |
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