Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

You know sometimes there's a crisis in well-meaning mental health professionals rush in to discuss the trauma

while it's still happening. That's a really bad idea. People are generally

traumatized because something actually horrible happened and dwelling on it

in the moment just makes it worse.

It's not like anybody has a solution.

Here's how you should understand this, you know, someone's just shot up your kid's school.

Here's how you should understand this, that'll make it all better. It's like no it won't.

If you have old baggage that often comes up if you're having an argument with someone

doesn't it? You know how it you know how it is?

This is partly why people don't like to have a dispute within a relationship because it's a thread and you pull on that thread and just God.

Oh that we had another rule. Do not agree with something you don't agree with.

Ooh. Like if we're gonna if we decide you and me that we're doing this we don't

go back and say well I didn't really mean it

we don't get to play revisionist with our history

so if you if you don't agree

don't agree fight object or hold your peace because you see what happens with

couples is there's a little fight and then one says to the other yeah, but you did this and then that person says yeah I know I did that but then that was because you did this and each this gets bigger until what's on the table is why the

hell should we stay together at all and so every fight becomes why the hell

should we stay together at all so that's another thing you want to do is you want to have the

fight about this thing. You were flirting. I think you were flirting more than you should have

be. Okay, so I go away and I think, well, okay, maybe I was. Okay, well then we have to

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