How to Have Great Relationships: Attachment and the Self

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 3 August 2020

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all want great relationships - ones that are fulfilling, loving, stable, and fun. This is the first of two episodes focused on becoming a 'great relater.' Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on understanding our individual attachment style, and how we can work through our personal material. The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for his online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price! Key Topics: 0:25: Staying content while striving for achievement. 4:00: Information on the relationship workshop. 6:20: Who helps you feel enlarged? 7:55: Rick makes fun of Forrest…and managing different levels of standard. 9:00: Building a good relator. 10:15: Attachment theory 17:00: Getting less attached to our attachment style. 19:15: Insecure attachment styles. 23:00: What issues does anxious attachment create? 26:00: A relationship between anxious and avoidant. 29:00: Skills for relating with an anxious person. 32:00: Finding optimal distance. 35:30: Working through a dreaded experience. 39:30: Exposure and blame. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Use code beingwell to let them know you came from us. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. Thanks for taking the time to listen today.
0:08.0	I'm joined today as usual by Dr. Rick Hansen and Rick is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author who's
0:15.1	spent over 35 years teaching people the key lessons from psychology and
0:19.0	contemplative practice that lead to a good life and I'm also happy to say that he happens to be my dad.
0:25.0	So dad, how are you doing today?
0:27.0	I'm doing really great, actually, thank you.
0:30.0	And I was laughing at myself that I'm working on contentment, which sounds very oxymoronic,
0:36.7	and yet it's a really interesting and kind of culturally subversive practice to explore a genuine feeling of enoughness and a
0:47.7	fading away of discontent even while having goals and solving problems and caring about other people.
0:55.4	So you're attacking the capitalist paradigm with inner peace?
1:00.3	You got it, bro. You're a little smart camera.
1:05.0	With a lot of personal interest and satisfaction on the way.
1:10.0	And it's really cool.
1:11.0	Actually, you've got to be honest about it too. You're content, you're
1:14.4	discontent, tell the truth about it. But it's a really trippy practice to feel content
1:20.7	in the midst of goal-directed activity.
1:23.0	Yeah, totally.
1:24.0	And I think that part of what you're kind of alluding to there is this idea that we have to feel,
1:29.0	we have to feel like we can
1:35.0	we can only get motivated by things not being as good as we want them to be.
1:40.3	And you're trying to flip the script on that by feeling already full in the pursuit of something even more whatever even more
1:47.7	fulfilling or just like continued contemptment is maybe your goal or whatever it might be.
	...

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