How to Gently Remind Your Partner of Your Wants/Needs, Without Nagging or Attacking: Episode 206

EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman

Education, Society & Culture, Relationships, Self-improvement

5.0 • 589 Ratings

🗓️ 28 December 2021

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The "forgetting curve" principle shows that your partner is likely to forget 50% within an hour, 70% within 24 hours, and 90% within a week. So if this is true, why on earth would we expect our partner to remember something we express ONE time: like a want/need?! Since human memory can't be relied on and your partner likely has a lot on their mind/plate, then we need to partner with them by effectively providing gentle, loving reminders.

But what about nagging?! Someone asked this on our Instagram post.

In this episode we distinguish between "nagging" your partner and healthy "assertiveness."

Assertiveness is empowering, and a skill we all can get better at in a relationship.

To better use this skill in your conflict repair: Watch the FREE WebClass on The 5 Step Process to Fully Repair After an Argument So You Reconnect in Minutes, Instead of Hours, Days or Weeks. Register and watch here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship
0:05.4	advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stand the same team
0:10.7	no matter the challenge that you face. I'm one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman,
0:15.0	but you all just know us as the Freeman's. And this episode is about how to gently remind your
0:19.6	partner of your wants and needs without
0:21.8	nagging or attacking.
0:23.8	And where this came from, it was great because I love the conversation that gets sparked
0:27.5	online.
0:28.7	And we had put up an Instagram post where we shared a reminder about how you can't
0:34.5	only express a want or need once and then resent your partner for
0:39.8	not understanding. And the post had said, you can and should provide gentle loving reminders.
0:47.2	And so someone commented asking, and we love the conversation, saying, but I don't want to
0:52.6	nag. Isn't it important that they just remember it?
0:56.8	Yeah, it's a great question.
0:57.9	And I was like, okay, I think this is a fear people have is this idea of nagging.
1:02.6	And we're going to completely demolish this idea of nagging.
1:06.3	I know we were demolishing things here today.
1:08.0	Well, I just really don't like that word.
1:10.1	And I really don't like how it's associated a lot of times with women when they are almost
1:16.5	feeling like they're stuck between I'm either expressing myself, you know, my only option is
1:22.0	to be a nag or I don't say anything at all.
1:24.5	And those aren't the only two options that we're going to go into.
	...

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