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The Gray Area with Sean Illing

How to forgive yourself

The Gray Area with Sean Illing

Vox Media Podcast Network

Politics, News, News Commentary, Philosophy, Society & Culture

4.511.1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 April 2026

⏱️ 45 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s easy to forgive other people because you don’t have to live inside their head. Forgiving yourself is different and much, much harder. Sean Illing is joined by philosopher Myisha Cherry to talk about what it actually means to forgive yourself without letting yourself off the hook. They discuss the difference between guilt and shame (one can push you to repair, while the other just makes you want to hide), why even small screwups can leave a lingering moral aftertaste, and how regret can either trap you in self-reproach or become fuel for doing better. Host: Sean Illing (@SeanIlling) Guest: Myisha Cherry (@myishacherry) We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show. And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday. Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

What goes up must come down, except when it comes to gas prices.

0:06.9

The price tends to rocket up very quickly at the pump as when crude oil prices go up,

0:11.8

but gasoline prices tend to take a little bit longer to go down in many cases.

0:15.7

This week, Unexplained to me, why gas and everything else is so expensive these days.

0:22.6

Find new episodes Sundays wherever you get your podcasts.

0:30.6

If you're tired of endless scrolling to figure out where to eat, same.

0:34.6

I'm Stephanie Wu, editor-in-chief of E eater. We've just launched the new-ish and way

0:40.2

better eater app. It has all the restaurants we love, gives you personalized picks wherever you

0:45.9

are, and serves up smarter search results just for you. You can find my list of the best places

0:51.8

for martinis and fries in New York City. And save your

0:55.3

favorite spots, share lists, follow editors, and book right in the app. Download the eater app at

1:01.2

eater app.com. She's a previous guest on the show, and she has kindly decided to return. She is a professor of philosophy at UC Riverside, where she studies, among other things, the moral psychology of anger, empathy,

1:48.7

forgiveness, which we're going to talk a little bit about today. That is how I describe who

1:55.1

you are and what you do. How do you describe who you are and what you do when you're at those

1:59.1

fancy philosophy parties?

2:02.3

No, I'm a philosopher. I not only do it for a living, but it's just who I am. That's how I see

2:09.8

the world. That's how I view the world. But also do public stuff. So I'm interested not only

2:16.4

in just teaching an academy, but also sharing all

2:19.2

these thoughts that I come up with with public audiences. So that's why I'm so happy to be with you

2:23.6

again today. Why the interest in forgiveness? Why did that feel like something that like you

2:28.9

actually wanted to study seriously, philosophically? Yeah. I mean, there's a variety of reasons personally and

2:35.9

interpersonally. I mean, I would say that I got interested in anger first. And forgiveness

...

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