Have you ever heard of object of desire based arousal?

It's a product of socialization that explains why we find it so hard to feel turned on or sexy

if someone isn't actively desiring us. In this episode I'm going to explain this concept and give you a sneak

peek of the rest of Chapter 7 of my book, which is all about sex, dating, and romantic relationships.

Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. I'm your host Kara Loyenthile, master certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thop.

I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go.

Hello, hello and welcome to the sixth episode of this limited mini series I'm doing here on the

podcast with a sneak peek of each chapter of my book.

Take back Your Brain.

Today we're talking about chapter 7 of the book.

This actually is the longest chapter because sex, dating, and romantic relationships was a lot to cover,

and I have so many good hacks to teach you. There's honestly so much in this

chapter that I cannot detail at all. First we set the context with an intersectional approach

to this topic and the different realities and belief systems that different women experience.

And then we get into the common thought patterns.

So in this chapter I share what I call the four traps of romantic socialization.

If you are struggling and dating or you're unhappy in a

romantic relationship, these traps are the key to understanding why. The four

traps are insecurity, scarcity and settling, fixation and rumination, and magical thinking.

And that last one sounds like fun, but it actually will fuck you up fast.

I also share what my own journey was like in working through my dating drama and

finding my fiance and why some of the most challenging work came after I met him.

...