How to Effectively Communicate What You Want

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 26 September 2022

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs. 7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges 8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points 11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people 15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models 26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication 28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain 32:10: Keeping agreements 37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair 39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication 43:00: Generosity 45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need 49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort 52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?” 54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to Being Well, I'm Forest Hanson.
0:10.4	If you're new to the podcast, thanks for joining us today.
0:13.2	This is where we explore the practical science of personal growth, and if you've
0:17.0	listened before, welcome back.
0:19.7	Last week's episode focused on getting in touch with what we need, and once we get to
0:23.8	the point of knowing our wants and needs and desires, we still have a pretty big hurdle
0:29.0	to face, stepping into them for ourselves and expressing those needs to other people.
0:35.3	And that's what we're going to be focusing on today.
0:37.7	To help us learn to do that, I'm joined as usual by Dr. Rick Hanson, because a clinical
0:42.0	psychologist, best-selling author, and he's also my dad.
0:46.0	So dad, how are you doing today?
0:47.4	I'm good, and I'm super psyched about this topic.
0:50.8	Yeah, very much the same.
0:52.4	I was really happy with how our previous conversation turned out.
0:56.2	I think it's going to be helpful for a lot of people, and I'm looking forward to talking
0:59.3	more about it today.
1:01.2	Before we get into it, a couple of quick reminders.
1:03.4	First, if you haven't already, please subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening
1:07.8	to it.
1:08.8	Now, indeed, your subscription.
1:10.8	Oh, man, you think we have ice fries there, dad, you're just like, I can't fall it together.
1:22.8	That was good.
	...

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