What up my homies, welcome to Women of Empath. I have a question for you. How pro are you when it comes to bending over backwards and giving contortionist level compromise? Now be honest ladies, are you practically teaching the master level class on people pleasing and playing small at this point? If people pleasing is your poison and you appreciate bad old women that share their road to the new heights and big wins, then this episode is just what need today. Now my girl, Ready to Vluke a Shetty, is joining me today for deep conversations, real freaking experiences and actual practical tips to help you on your journey for strength, confidence and actually how to prioritize yourself. Now, Kesh don't know, Ready. She is an influencer, YouTuber, business woman, podcaster, and a breath of fresh air. So stay tuned as we dive into breaking the habits, they keep you paying small. So guys, leave a way or a review and let me know. Actually, if you like this episode or not, because I'm listening, I'm watching, and it really does also help. Anyway, everyone says it, but it really does help. Get out to the world, a more women that we can impact together, the more we can stop these freaking people pleasing behaviors. Now, let's get into the episode with my girl, Rady DeValucia. What habits have you had to break for you to be able to now show up with such freaking confidence. There's no point where I get an opportunity even now and I'm like, yeah, I can't wait to do this. I still get all those barriers, but I've learned to see those barriers as something that is going against me then for me. And before I used to think the barriers were something that were there for me to like protect me and keep me in a space of safeness. And so I think it's the conversion in my mind of, these are barriers I'm putting up for myself not for protection most of the time, but to that are actually gonna stop me from creating a better version or to create a better self. But I would say I still get those that mentality. My people pleasing mentality is still very, very strong. I got to a point in my life where I realized I was saying no to a lot of things that I thought would be fun and would be exciting and would be something that could help me grow or it would benefit my life in some way. But I would stop myself because of the fear and the anxiety. And so I was stopping myself from so many things and so many opportunities, closing myself off in this box because I was allowing my anxiety to control me more than my joy and excitement. And I decided that I wanted to just start saying yes to things. like even if it scares me, even if it makes me feel really uncomfortable and really out of my comfort zone, I just want to say yes because I want to know I can do things, I want to know I can complete things and I want to know that I, even if I can't do it, at least I know I can't, rather than always living in this possibility of, I could or I would or I should, but like never actually knowing. And I think that's literally what I did. I ended up just saying yes to whether it was speaking, whether it was coming on podcast, even with people that I didn't know that was really scary for me. And just every time I ended up overcoming that hurdle, it was like this confidence boost for myself to say yes to the next thing and the next thing. And so I think it's that feeling of, once you say yes to one thing, it almost, you reward yourself in such a beautiful way of confidence. Like the reward is confidence. The reward is feeling like, wow, you actually did something. Like you actually completed it. And then that is almost like the thing that propelled me

to keep saying yes to things. After I came on your podcast, I was like, that was amazing, but what else do I have left to say now? Like what else do I even have to talk about? I've already spoken about, I felt like I've poured so much into that first podcast and in my mind I was like, well I pretty much said it all. like, what else is there to even say?

And so every time I would be thinking about doing something,

I'd be like, what if I run out of things to talk about?

Like, what if is there to even say? And so every time I would be thinking about doing something,

I'd be like, what if I run out of things to talk about?

Like, what if there's nothing else left for me to do or for me to say, or what if I don't accomplish it in the way that I thought I would? So it was definitely the fear of the unknown and also not knowing my capabilities and not knowing I could do it, not having trust or faith in that.

And then I think it was the concept of the image of what people will think, what people will say. You say one thing wrong and it can be taken in the completely wrong way than what you meant to and the fear of other people's judgment and how they would perceive it. I honestly think those were the two... And then actually, no, the third one is being lazy.

The third one is me just being like,

you know, why am I really comfortable?

Why should I put myself out there? I think I was used to being taken out of uncomfortable situations by my mom, by my sister, by my family, but I grew up in a way that my loving family just wanted to save me. Not truly, like if something was happening, I was struggling in an area, I never really had to struggle because I always had a

savior and so I actually do think it came from a little bit of laziness became. something was happening. If I was struggling in an area, I never really have to struggle because I always had a savior.

And so I actually do think it came from a little bit

of laziness because I was so used to being saved

in moments of struggle or being told,

it's okay, you don't have to do it.

That makes you feel uncomfortable, don't do it.

I've been thinking about this for a while recently,

especially to do with Instagram,

where my friend recently said to me, she was like,

oh, you really don't care what you look like when you post to you. You've really gotten up and I was like, I felt like that's really rude. What do you mean? Wait, you're trying to say it. Yeah, I was like, that's actually really rude. And I knew she meant it in such a... Oh my gosh, that's so amazing that you feel that way. And actually, I've practiced this process of when I think I want to delete something based

on the way that I look or the way that I'm actually, I've practiced this process of, when I think I want to delete something

...