How To Date Nerds
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 27 April 2026
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
April 27, 2026
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 How do nerds start dating?19:08 How do the manosphere messages compare?
30:31 Is there any good advice online for dating?
35:22 Where to find Alex Goldstein & Date Like a Nerd
37:06 What is the difference between Nice Guy and Kind Man?
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Deserving listeners. Today we have a very special guest on the podcast, long-term annual patron Alex Goldstein, who reached out to me talking about nerd dating. So welcome to the podcast, Alex. |
| 0:13.2 | Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm so happy to be here. You said that you surveyed some nerd couples asking them how they met. |
| 0:22.0 | Yeah. |
| 0:22.6 | And what did you find? |
| 0:24.5 | So I've surveyed over 700 couples at this point in Mexico, Canada, Argentina, and the US. |
| 0:31.8 | All of them, except for the US, were in person at nerd conventions like Comic Con. |
| 0:37.0 | And the other ones who were on social media. I've been doing them on Instagram and threats.S. were in person at nerd conventions like Comic-Con and the other ones were on social media. |
| 0:38.7 | I've been doing them on Instagram and threats. |
| 0:41.6 | And so far, around 68% of them started as just friends, which goes quite against what most people think of, when I think of dating. |
| 0:52.1 | Right. I think most people assume that everyone meets on online dating |
| 0:57.8 | apps, especially nerd people because they're always on their phone or they're always using |
| 1:03.1 | technology or something. But you found something very different. So what did that exactly |
| 1:08.8 | look like in anecdote, right? Like how did they become friends? How did it transition to dating? |
| 1:16.2 | Most of them met either through like friends or work or school, right? So like places where they were seeing each other over and over again repeatedly. |
| 1:25.7 | Not just like bump into each other. We become friends and then we just like bumping to each other, we become |
| 1:27.9 | friends and then we keep going. |
| 1:29.3 | It's usually within a community, right? |
| 1:31.3 | Within an environment where you're, let's not say doomed, but like, it leads to meeting other |
| 1:40.5 | people regularly in an organic context. Not like, I see a pretty person, I go to them |
| 1:46.4 | out of the blue, and then we become friends. Although the ones that I did find, which are very few, |
| 1:54.1 | less than 1% who met in public, still those as well, two-thirds started as friends. |
| 2:00.4 | How did they meet as friends in public? |
... |
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