How to Break the Spell of Complaining

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2016

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you addicted to complaining? In this episode of LOVE Life, we take a look at why it’s dangerous to seek significance in the sympathy of others, and I’ll reveal the most rewarding way to get validation through actually solving your problems. It may not be instant gratification, but I promise it’s the most fulfilling way to live.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello everyone, this is Love Life with Matthew Hussie. You know, we've all been hurt in relationships.
0:09.9	If we're not careful, we can end up shutting ourselves off completely to protect ourselves
0:14.1	from more pain. But that cheats us out of opportunities to find the love we really deserve.
0:19.8	So what should we do instead? I want to come back to this at the end of the show. But
0:24.4	first, let's get into today's episode. Today we're talking about complaining and whether
0:30.9	it can ever really be a good thing. I'm interested in this subject, especially when I looked
0:35.6	up the dictionary definition of complaining to complain, express dissatisfaction or annoyance
0:43.0	about a state of affairs or an event. Now, when phrase like that, I don't actually have
0:47.3	a problem with complaining. In fact, if you never express dissatisfaction or annoyance
0:51.6	about something, not only are you a very boring person, but you're also somebody who doesn't
0:57.2	really necessarily have the power to change something. So complaining in that sense is not
1:03.6	an evil. I don't see it as a bad thing. I see it as a necessary part of the human condition
1:07.9	and a necessary impetus for change for making changes in our lives and in the world around
1:14.5	us. What complaining tends to become a negative is when we get this protracted, monestate
1:21.3	that a lot of people live in, where they're relentless in their objections to things in
1:27.9	simply stating that they don't like something over and over and over again. And I think the
1:33.1	time that we get most sick of people, for example, when our friend comes to us, when they
1:38.3	come to us once and say something's wrong, very often we hear them out, we may even want
1:42.9	to help them. We may want to find a solution for them. We understand that they may be complaining
1:47.5	about something that is an legitimate complaint. But if we hear that same friend come back to us
1:51.6	every day for the next two weeks about that same thing without having done anything towards
1:56.6	changing it, that's when we start to get frustrated with people. But the problem for most of us
	...

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