How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco
10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Media, LLC
4.6 • 12.9K Ratings
🗓️ 20 February 2023
⏱️ 73 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
---
Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.  Â
Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.
This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.Â
In this episode we talk about:
- Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
- The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called "displacement theory"
- The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of lonelinessÂ
- Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
- What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
- How to reframe social rejection
- The importance of generosity
- How to handle conflict with your friends
- The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
- When to walk away from a relationshipÂ
- How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
- How to deal with social anxiety
- And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is the 10% Happier Podcast. |
| 0:06.0 | I'm Dan Harris. |
| 0:11.2 | Hey gang, did you know that having a large social network can decrease your risk of death |
| 0:26.9 | by 45% that's more than the benefits conferred by exercise and diet? |
| 0:33.2 | Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed and that it can improve your |
| 0:37.2 | marriage if you're in one? |
| 0:39.4 | As Aristotle once said, without friendship, no one would choose to live. |
| 0:44.0 | And yet we are in what some have called a friendship famine. |
| 0:48.2 | One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years. |
| 0:53.3 | And slash but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if |
| 0:58.6 | they only knew how. |
| 1:00.4 | My guest today has written a best-selling book about how understanding your own psychological |
| 1:04.9 | makeup, what's called your attachment style, can help you make and keep friends. |
| 1:11.2 | Dr. Marissa G. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. |
| 1:15.9 | Her book is called Platonic. |
| 1:18.8 | In this conversation, we talk about why friendship is undervalued in her view in our society |
| 1:23.1 | while romantic love is overvalued and why this is damaging both on a societal level |
| 1:29.2 | and an individual level. |
| 1:31.6 | The impact of technology on our relationships, as explained by something called displacement |
| 1:35.8 | theory, the biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological |
| 1:40.6 | and psychological impacts of loneliness. |
| 1:43.6 | We also talk about a variant called collective loneliness. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from 10% Media, LLC, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of 10% Media, LLC and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

