How Often Should You Have Sex
Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Chris Taylor
4.7 • 885 Ratings
🗓️ 12 April 2021
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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About the Episode
How often should a married couple have sex? You might think this would be an easy question to answer, but we think it's going to take a whole episode.
- How do seasons of life affect the frequency of lovemaking, and what range of frequency do you think is appropriate for each season?
- What other factors can affect frequency?
- What does research say about consistent sexual intimacy?
- How should you and your husband negotiate frequency?
Sponsor
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From the Bible
What does God have to say about the frequency of sex?
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:5
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. - Deuteronomy 24:5
Resources
- Gaslighting - Partner Hope
- Deconstructing Gaslighting with Sarah Morales
- DARVO (a type of gaslighting)
- The 10,000-hour rule - original research, concept popularized in Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (though J recommends The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle for a more thorough treatment), and research-based challenges to the 10,000-hour rule
- Episode 95: How Does Depression Affect Sex?
- Stop Hooking Up In Your Marriage | Shaunti Feldhahn - guest post by Juli Slattery
- Episode 101: Enjoying Sex, with Joyce Penner
- More Sex Makes Us Happy, But Once A Week May Be Enough : Shots - Health News : NPR
- 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex (webmd.com)
- Here's How Much Sex Couples Are Having Per Week (theknot.com)
- How Often Should You Have Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
- Vitamin E suppositories
- Your Husband's Libido May Not Be What You Think - The Forgiven Wife
- Unlock Your Libido by Bonny Logsdon Burns
- Virgin Bride Guidebook by Bonny Logsdon Burns
- Q&A with J: Should A Higher Drive Spouse Lower Their Expectations? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
- 8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex - The Forgiven Wife
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Sex Chat for Christian Wives. |
| 0:03.9 | I'm Chris Taylor of Honeycomb and Spice. |
| 0:06.5 | I'm Gay Christmas of Calm, Healthy, Sexy. |
| 0:09.1 | I'm Jay Parker of Hot Holy and Humorous. |
| 0:11.6 | And I'm Bonnie Burns of Strong Wives. |
| 0:14.5 | Come up your chair to our virtual kitchen table and let's chat. |
| 0:20.0 | Welcome to another episode of sex chat for Christian wives. |
| 0:24.2 | Collectively and individually, we receive many different kinds of questions about sexual |
| 0:29.1 | intimacy. Some questions address problems, and some ask, what is reasonable and common? |
| 0:35.3 | Our discussion today is going to revolve around one burning question. |
| 0:39.9 | How often should a married couple have sex? |
| 0:43.0 | You might think this would be an easy question to answer, but we think it's going to take a whole episode. |
| 0:50.1 | So ladies, how does seasons of life affect the frequency of lovemaking and what range of frequency |
| 0:56.9 | do you think is appropriate for each season? Well, that's a loaded question. I don't know. |
| 1:04.7 | You know, I think it's just, it varies so much from one couple to the next. Like right now, |
| 1:09.8 | my husband and I are in a season where there's |
| 1:11.7 | not a whole lot of sex going on, but we're kind of an agreement about that. Our libidos are |
| 1:17.5 | fairly well matched. And so our sexual frequency is embarrassingly low right now. But at the same time, |
| 1:26.3 | we're doing a lot of sexual teasing all the time. So, you know, |
| 1:30.3 | that aspect of sexual intimacy is still happening. But there are other seasons in our life when |
| 1:35.9 | a lot more sex needs to be happening. There are just so many different phases that a couple |
| 1:42.3 | and women go through. You know, like you think about if you have a tiny |
... |
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