How Many Farts Can a Fart Digger Fart?
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 16 March 2026
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
🎧Episode Summary On Today’s Show Tim kicks off the week with cult recruitment tips, disgusting dog noises, and an update on the HGTV host who accidentally invented the phrase “fart digger.” Plus: public transit freakouts, a narcissistic TikTok disaster, a karaoke rage gun incident, and a Santa’s Village owner accused of doing some very non-holiday-appropriate […]
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey Freaks, it's Monday, March 16th, 2026. |
| 0:04.1 | Coming up on the program today, my personal requirements for joining a cult. |
| 0:07.9 | Recruiters, listen up. |
| 0:09.3 | Plus, dogs puking up water is music to my ears. |
| 0:12.7 | How many farts can a fart digger fart if a fart digger says the N-word on her home renovation show? |
| 0:17.8 | And Santa's Village is ground zero for rape! |
| 0:25.1 | No! renovation show. And Santa's Village is Ground Zero for rape! Clear glass here, green there, ground there. I short glass. That's my job. I learned the job slow. |
| 0:35.7 | And now I know it by heart. |
| 0:38.4 | He earns money. |
| 0:39.6 | He pays taxes. |
| 0:41.1 | He's just like you. |
| 0:43.6 | Ark, the Association for Retarded Citizens. |
| 0:46.6 | Don't throw us away. |
| 0:48.7 | Hello. |
| 0:49.9 | This video is for all the ARC members and sponsors, everything. |
| 1:00.0 | You need to change the name of ARC and take the word retard out of your name. Please, because the word retard out of your name. |
| 1:11.6 | Please, because the word retard is real offensive to me and a lot of other people. |
| 1:19.6 | So please change your name to the word, ARC. |
| 1:26.6 | Change your name |
| 1:27.8 | because that word is offensive to many people. |
| 1:32.7 | Okay? |
| 1:33.9 | When the night has called |
... |
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