Cousin Fucking, Counterfeit Cash, and Cockblocking Demons
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 18 March 2026
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
🎧Episode Summary On Today’s Show Tim kicks off the week with cult recruitment tips, disgusting dog noises, and an update on the HGTV host who acci🔥 Episode Highlights 📰 Distorted News 🎵 Sponsor Segment 💬 Listener Interaction ☎️ Voicemails 💰 Support the Show ⚠️ Featured Image 🎬 Closing Stick around for the full Tainted Broth […]
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Freaks, it's Wednesday, March 18th, 2026. Coming up on the program today, the evil entity watches you as you jerk off. |
| 0:08.8 | Plus, heavy-bertation Info Wars edition, the author who murdered her husband to give her book sales a bit of a bump. |
| 0:15.7 | And Florida remains the cousin fucking capital of the U.S. All coming up today. |
| 0:23.3 | Today's episode of Distorted View Daily is brought to you by |
| 0:26.7 | Long ago, my ancestors would encounter many dangers in this world. |
| 0:33.3 | When in battle, it was not uncommon to cut the flesh from a man's head, hair and all, |
| 0:37.8 | and keep it as a trophy of war. |
| 0:40.3 | Now you too can get a close shave with Savage Skelp Disposable Quad-Blad razors. |
| 0:45.9 | Oh, and have no reservations about ending up like one of my enemies, |
| 0:50.3 | thanks to the patented Savage Skelp's safety blade mechanism. |
| 0:53.4 | No nicking, no bleeding, just a face as smooth as a Papoose's rear end. |
| 0:58.7 | Take it from me, Tom A. Hawk. |
| 1:00.8 | Savage Scalp disposable quad blades are wonderful. |
| 1:08.1 | Another quality product from General Farms. |
| 1:12.8 | Kids, why don't you come in here and cool off? |
| 1:16.0 | Mom, we're thirsty! |
| 1:18.3 | You want some rootin, tootin, ching chong cherry Asian lime aid? |
| 1:23.0 | Whoa! |
| 1:24.4 | Be careful, it's a little sour. |
| 1:27.4 | Whoa! |
| 1:29.3 | Root and tootin, ching chum cherry Asian limeate is so tart. |
| 1:32.9 | It'll make your eyes slant. |
... |
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