Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive coaching tips

designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henshel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about how leaders can

play better poker.

Ritu had expected a promotion.

Not only did she not get the promotion, but a peer whom Ritu thought a much less effective

leader did get promoted.

Ritu complained to her boss, the CEO, Delwin.

I'd let Delwin's off-sites for years and had come to know him as a studious man who preferred

to avoid conflict.

His response to Ritu's complaints was to give her coaching with me.

I began Ritu's coaching engagement by collecting data about her.

When I asked Delwin what he thought success would look like for her coaching, he said,

she has to stop being so reactive, she's emotional all the time, she'll be in a meeting,

here an idea and bird out, that's ridiculous, it's insulting, or she'll come to me and

propose a project and expect me to greenlight it just because she gushes about how great

it's going to be.

You'd think by now she'd know, I make decisions based on data.

She has to calm down.

In Ritu's 360 degree feedback report, two words were repeated over and over from every

stakeholder group, emotional and reactive.

As she and I discussed the report, Ritu said to me, it's not a surprise, that's who I

...