How do I move through pain and anger after years of infertility?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2021

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Krista and addresses the question, “How do I move through pain and anger after years of infertility?” There’s a finality in Krista’s grief now, where there was hope before, and that’s a different phase of grief. Even though the process has been long, this new realization and acceptance that a baby is not going to happen is still new. During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Krista through the phases of grief, embracing self-compassion, and giving voi...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith.
0:28.1	I'm your host, Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.5	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:42.9	with tools to find healing. Today on the show, I'm happy to welcome Krista. Welcome to the show.
0:50.1	Thank you. Thanks for having me. My pleasure. And this is fun because I know Krista from past lives.
0:57.3	Right. We have a long history of friendship and working together. Working together. Yeah. So it's,
1:03.5	it was fun to recognize that it's my friend Krista on the show. So yay. So what is your question for me today, Krista?
1:12.4	My question is about how to move through resentment and anger at the, not, I mean, at the tail end of
1:21.5	infertility. That has been the, I guess, underlying, overlying issue that I have faced for the last five years that I've
1:30.4	been married. And it has truly affected so much of my mental health and my relationships, both with
1:38.3	my husband, my other family members, with God. And I want to move to that other side. I think that infertility will
1:47.8	always be a thing that sits on my shoulder, the pain and grief of that. But I want to move
1:54.3	through this place that is very uncomfortable where the resentment and anger at a lot of different people and a lot of
2:02.8	different things exist. Because I wasn't an angry resentful person before. And I miss my old self.
2:10.7	I know that I'll be different. I'll know that I have changed. But hopefully this makes sense.
2:15.0	I want to move to the other side. and I don't know how to move through
2:19.0	or navigate the resentment and anger. Okay. Yeah. First I want to say I'm so, I'm so sorry that you're
2:26.9	dealing with this loss because it's, it's huge. It is. It's very huge. Yeah. So I want to validate that and validate the resentment and validate
2:39.7	the grief and just acknowledge that it can be a really long process. Yeah. It's turning out to be that.
2:49.2	I like I said, I think that I think that I think the sadness, this little black cloud, I just think it will always be there.
2:56.6	Mm-hmm. I think it will always be there because it's not just the loss of having a child today. It's the loss of having a child graduate from high school. It's the loss of having a child get married. It's the loss of being a
3:08.2	grandparent. I'll never experience those things. So it's a lifelong grief. And I realize that.
	...

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