How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2024

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today’s episode, I talk with Nicole and answer the question “How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me?” After a recent break up caused by her partner not wanting to have children, Nicole is hoping to gain some clarity as to what she wants for her future and why.Nicole and I talk about how to have a meaningful life with or without children, if it matters at the end of the day if she does want kids because it’s what she’s always as...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.6	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:43.0	with tools to find healing.
0:45.1	I'm thrilled to welcome Nicole to the podcast today. Hi, Nicole.
0:50.5	Hey, how's it going?
0:52.2	It's going well. Yeah, how about you? I'm doing really well. Good, good, good. So what is your question for me today? So my question is, how do I know if I want kids because it's something that I genuinely want for myself or it's just something that's always been expected of me.
1:12.9	Hmm. Yeah, that's a really good question. We can't entirely separate ourselves out from our
1:20.8	environment, right? Like, that's impossible because the environment we grew up in informs our expectations and kind of self-development, right?
1:36.3	So I don't know if that's actually possible to totally separate out.
1:43.4	Okay.
1:44.1	Does that sound fair?
1:46.1	I mean, I just don't know that, and maybe that's not even the goal.
1:51.2	I'm wondering if the goal is more to really get clear on what you want.
1:56.9	And if part of what you want is because that's what you've been taught to want, that's not bad.
2:03.1	Yeah.
2:03.6	If that's the only reason, then that's a problem.
2:07.0	Yeah.
2:07.4	I think it's more that maybe coming, having a clearer vision of what it is that I want and why and being able to articulate that to myself and to other people. Yeah. So tell me kind of what
2:19.8	you've explored so far. So so far I've just kind of been trying to dissect all of the messages
	...

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