How can I talk about boundaries with my narcissistic mother-in-law who turns everything into my fault?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2024

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today’s episode I chat with Morgan and answer the question “How can I talk about boundaries with my narcissistic mother-in-law who turns everything into my fault?” Morgan describes what interactions with her mother-in-law are typically like, and from what I hear it sounds like Morgan is doing a good job interacting with her. From my perspective, the bigger problem is between Morgan and her husband.There are important conversations Morgan and her husband need to have regarding boundaries an...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, friends. Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. I'm so glad you're here.
0:13.2	In each episode, I coach a listener through a tough question about mental health, personal
0:18.3	growth, family relationships, or faith journeys.
0:21.6	My goal is to help you think, feel, or do something differently to improve your life because you
0:27.4	listen to this podcast.
0:29.5	I want you to step into your power and create a life you love.
0:33.9	Let's get started.
0:36.3	I'm so happy to welcome Morgan to the podcast today. Welcome, Morgan.
0:41.8	Hello, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
0:44.6	Happy to have you. What is your question for me today?
0:49.2	So my question is in regards to my mother-in-law and just navigating boundaries, things have gotten worse
0:58.0	since having children. But my question is, how do I navigate a discussion with her about boundaries?
1:06.1	I feel like she has some narcissistic tendencies. Bring up anything, it turns it back to being my fault.
1:13.9	And I feel kind of crazy most of the time. Okay. Okay. So tell me about a recent conversation that
1:20.6	you had where it didn't go well. Okay. So um, a family trip and I did my best to communicate,
1:31.0	like, I'm going to take care of my children's needs. Is there our activities that I'm going to
1:34.8	bring? You're welcome to join in. Just so I could assert myself, this is what's going to happen.
1:39.1	So everyone knew. Yeah. And that my in-laws are huge into food. It's really important to them. And so it just seemed like every meal time, I wasn't there and they would start and they would feed the kids. And that's fine, not a big deal. But I was noticing that one of my children wasn't eating as much as they normally did. And so I was just like, hey, let's have this snack. And I had my husband actually say
2:02.2	something because I felt like it would come better from him. And it happened twice, two days. They
2:09.4	kind of were like, oh, he's fine, you know, whatever. And the next day, it happened again. And my
2:15.6	husband isn't great at that kind of thing so it didn't go well
2:19.1	and they started giving pushback and we're like well he eats it fine at our house he's had this many
	...

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