How Do I Interact with My Emotionally Unavailable Mother? (with Melissa)

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

AccessMore

Christianity, Talk Radio, Default, Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 808 Ratings

🗓️ 29 July 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today I’m joined by DFCN counselor Melissa, as we take an on-air call from Adrienne from Florida who asks: How should I navigate a relationship with my mom who doesn’t invest/participate in a relationship with me and my sisters and hasn’t in a long time. The only time she reaches out is when she needs something. She’s not emotionally available with us and if we didn’t reach out, we probably wouldn’t hear from her at all. I’ve distanced myself from people who don’t meet me halfway. But can I do that with my mom? What do you do when the very person that isn’t showing up in a relationship is your own mother? Does setting boundaries mean cutting her out of your life, or is there a better way? We dig deep in this on-air session and help Adrienne understand how to move forward in a complicated relationship with her mother. Don’t miss this conversation! Book a session with Melissa Crutchfield, M.A., LPC today! You can also ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠watch the full episode on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Debra Fileta Counselors Network⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Debra Fileta Counselors Network⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. She is the bestselling author of eight books including ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Choosing Marriage⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Are You Really OK?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RESET⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Soul Care⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talk To Me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DebraFileta.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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1:06.0	emotionally connected person. So she was very big about we we have two sisters, and she was very big about
1:11.9	making sure that we had everything we needed in the house, but there weren't words like, I love you,
1:16.7	there weren't hugs, there weren't things like that. She was really trying to make sure that we had
1:22.1	food on the table, clothes to wear, transportation, and so we did have all of those things.
1:28.9	And that was the way my mother kind of, I think, showed us that she loved us.
1:32.4	But as we grew and we moved on and we lived in different places, that is, we would still talk and connect.
1:39.7	But I just noticed, especially since COVID, she has really kind of shut down on that.
1:45.7	And what makes it really difficult is I have a daughter who just really misses her grandmother.
1:51.8	But yes, consistently, there hasn't been a lot of emotional investment for my mom for pretty much the majority of my life for sure.
	...

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