meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Bert Show

How Did Bert’s Sh*tty Weekend Go?! + Texting Tutor Update!

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2023

⏱️ 6 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bert was SUPPOSED to have a pretty sh*tty weekend, but wiped his hands cleans of the whole thing! Will a poop playlist help? 💩 + She was about to tell the best friend that she was about to get FIRED! How did she take it? It's #TextingTutor! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The virtue so I failed I didn't do it this week and I couldn't pervert wise. I just couldn't it's just I thought of you Saturday morning as I was using the bathroom

0:10.4

Me and my me and my poop on Saturday morning almost text you and said I hope your spilunking edition went well

0:16.4

What an honor what a real honor

0:18.4

So I told these guys last on Friday that I was not looking forward to the weekend just because

0:24.0

20 minutes of it 30 minutes of it

0:26.1

Maybe it was going to be spent I have to take this like in-home fecal test where you have to

0:31.6

poop in a little itty-bitty box and then you have to sift through your own poop with a little spoon

0:37.1

And then you got to put it in a test tube and then you got to send it to a lab. I just thought of a great bet pay off. Nope

0:44.1

Nope

0:46.1

Nope, I am not going to scoop parts poop that is not happening and you call yourself a friend

0:53.2

I will pick your ear hairs. I will pick your nose hairs

0:57.2

I have even picked something out of your teeth before I'm not sifting through your due to well when you're ready to commit you let me know

1:05.4

It was staring at me the entire weekend on that kitchen counter and just the thought of it

1:11.4

I just I wanted to do I don't know how I'm going to motivate myself to do it

1:16.0

It is literally feels like rock bottom to me. I told you get drunk. Just get it over with that's what I would do

1:22.0

Okay, if you don't do it today, no, I'm not making any agreements

1:26.8

You have to be held a cat you got to do this

1:30.6

Yeah, I do, but it's probably not going to be today. I'm just gonna be honest with you

1:33.8

I can't I cannot get the motivation of and it's it seems so superficial like it shouldn't be that bad

1:39.6

Do I need to put a playlist together for you?

1:42.4

Yes

1:43.8

Yes, you do what would even be on that place? I don't know yet, but yes

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Bert Show, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of The Bert Show and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.