How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Sex Life

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily sits down with Violet Benson. Violet opens up about her intentional decision to step back from penetrative sex while working through attachment patterns that clouded her judgment in relationships. How do you know when sex is creating unhealthy emotional attachment versus genuine connection? Violet shares her realization that sleeping with someone too quickly led her to ignore red flags and chase unavailable partners who mirrored her childhood feelings of being "not enough." The conversation dives into Violet's egg freezing experience, including the intense hormonal and emotional effects that doctors failed to prepare her for. Violet takes Emily's Sex IQ quiz from the book Smart Sex, reflecting on how much her relationship with her body and pleasure has evolved. They tackle a listener question about pursuing someone with major red flags just for physical chemistry, with both hosts emphasizing the importance of honest self-reflection over justification. The episode explores embracing "clinginess" in dating, why vulnerability beats playing games, and how foreplay truly starts outside the bedroom. Throughout, Emily and Violet reinforce that understanding your patterns is the first step to breaking cycles that don't serve you. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 2:13 - Violet's dating hiatus 5:42 - Turning fears into boundaries 8:37 - Understanding attachment styles and childhood trauma in relationships 11:43 - Egg freezing experience 16:17 - Managing mental health during hormonal changes 21:00 - Sex IQ Quiz 26:31 - Listener question: Detaching emotions from physical intimacy 30:30 - Why being vulnerable beats playing games 35:41 - Why people are having less sex and connection 38:15 - Top 3 tips for authentic dating and better relationships 40:42 - Rapid-fire questions: Turn-ons, turn-offs, and relationship advice

Transcript

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0:42.3	Just tap the link in the episode description or head to bbibes.com slash Emily.
0:47.9	That's bbv-e-e-es.com slash Emily.
0:52.8	Silent, chic, powerful, go get one today. Be vulnerable. Put yourself out there. You are meant to get rejected until you find your person. That's part of life. Like, I don't understand the whole fear. What if I get rejected? Okay. What if? So what? Then at least you tried. Right. You're listening to Sex with Emily.
1:13.1	I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
1:17.5	around sex.
1:18.5	Today I'm sitting down with Violet Benson.
1:20.8	She has built a community of over 5 million followers by being refreshingly honest about dating
1:25.8	and relationships.
1:27.1	In this conversation, Violet opens up about her decision to temporarily step back from
1:31.9	penetrative sex while working through her own patterns around intimacy and attachment.
1:37.3	She shares her experience freezing her eggs, and we dive into her philosophy on embracing
	...

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