How can I get my husband to be an equal partner in household responsibilities?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 20 April 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Krista and addresses the question, “How can I create more equal roles in my home?” A common problem among couples is framing responsibility with one spouse working full-time, and the other spouse being in charge of the household tasks. The problem with this perspective is working full-time has set hours and then you’re off, but being in charge of home and family has no time off. During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Krista through ways to reframe famil...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.3	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host, Dr. Julie
0:29.7	Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women all over the
0:35.7	world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.7	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:43.1	with tools to find healing. With me today on the show is Krista. Welcome to the show.
0:49.7	Hi, thanks for having me. Oh, my pleasure. So what is your question for me today?
0:55.4	My question is, how can I create more equal roles in our home?
1:02.0	Okay, tell me, tell me more, you know, I love talking about this stuff, right?
1:05.8	Yes.
1:06.5	So tell me more about how things are currently going.
1:16.5	Yeah, so I actually read Fair Play by Eve. Is it Eve Doddsky?
1:29.1	Rodski. Rodski. There I go. Yeah. Great book. And yeah, I really liked a lot of the things that she said and, you know, how to implement more fairness. But I do feel like we've kind of gotten stuck. I feel like my husband doesn't feel 100% on board. He definitely wants to help out more
1:37.3	in the home, but I don't know if he's, he doesn't love the system. I mean, he's awesome. I don't
1:43.5	want to like throw him under the bus. No, I get, I mean, he's awesome. I don't want to like throw him under the bus.
1:45.2	No, I get, I'm sure he's awesome, right? It has nothing to do with that. It's just, okay, we've inherited expectations about who should do what. And it's not always fair.
1:58.4	Yeah. I'm a stay-at-home mom and he works full-time and he's a teacher. So sometimes he
2:06.0	has to stay longer after school and such. But I feel like, well, he has said to me in the past,
2:13.2	well, you're home. So I kind of view like, this is your responsibility to take care of things in the
2:19.4	home, which I mean, it makes sense and I agree with to an extent, but it does, I mean,
2:25.4	so when we looked at the cards that she lays out for you and, you know, you divided them up,
2:32.4	I definitely feel like there's an imbalance of how many daily
	...

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