Hiking
Three Bean Salad
Three Bean Salad
4.8 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 23 July 2025
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is to leave no trace of themselves on the landscape, the lukewarm banter of the beans will pass through your mindscape with the firm promise to leave no memorable impression of any kind.
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Morning beans. |
| 0:10.3 | I call an early pompadou. |
| 0:13.3 | Pompadou. |
| 0:13.9 | What? |
| 0:14.6 | So are I. |
| 0:15.3 | I. And now it's fine for |
| 0:27.7 | Pompidoo section |
| 0:29.8 | Pompidip |
| 0:32.6 | Mike's in what looks like a |
| 0:35.6 | wine cellar. |
| 1:11.0 | I'm in a wine cellar slash dungeon. It looks like you've been kidnapped by a count or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a count who's going to treat me ever so well. Oh, yeah, but you'll never see sunlight again. I will never see sunlight, but I'll have the finest silks and fabrics. That's right. On my skin. You will have the finest silks and fabrics. But your life force will be being tapped away. Through a life force tap. They'll have installed somewhere in your lower body. Yeah. But after a couple of years of that, I'll assume that that's for the greater good, and I'll actually be fully behind the whole process. Yeah. Yeah. That's the skill of the count. |
| 1:16.2 | And of course he'll be running around Europe, bedding princesses and politicians' wives. |
| 1:17.2 | And leading generals. |
| 1:19.0 | Just using your life force. |
| 1:19.6 | Exactly. |
| 1:25.9 | And it makes you think what you could have done with that life force because you had it. |
| 1:31.6 | But I think, again, the count talks me through that and works out that we work out that I probably would have wasted that. |
| 1:34.1 | I probably would have procrastinated that life force away. |
| 1:34.8 | Yeah. |
| 1:39.5 | And why waste that life force when he could use that for his sexual adventures? |
| 1:43.8 | Michael, you would not have bedded Margaret of Pomerania. |
| 1:45.0 | Wouldn't have got around to it. |
... |
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