The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hello everybody.

Time sure flies when you're having fun.

Just kidding, whoever made up that fucking slogan can suck a big old dick.

Welcome to week three of quarantine podcasting,

aka the role I was born to play because I've been doing this shit for fucking years.

Now I would like to start off this episode with a little bit of a poem.

If you follow me on Instagram, I've been doing daily visits to my anorexic

geriatric grandma Gloria, who every fucking day when I go to her house and knock

gloves on, obviously, she'll be like, babe, I made you a chicken soup.

I made you a taco pie.

I've got oranges.

I was like, listen, bitch, listen, bitch.

Every time you cook for me, you're depleting your own food supply and then

putting me at harm's risk because then I have to go to the fucking supermarket for

you. So save your shitty soup and eat it yourself.

But God, she's so fucking cute.

So I was cooking for her a lot at the beginning, but you know what?

I've lost a little bit of my quarantine steam and I'm so ready to snap on

anyone in anything.

Me and Andrew got in the biggest fight of our entire relationship yesterday.

And I'm going to talk about that in a second.

...