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The Angry Therapist Podcast

Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy: What We’re Afraid to Ask

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 18 December 2025

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us. From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how often long-term couples should be intimate… to questioning why we attract emotionally unavailable partners… to the messy, human moments around sex, desire, loneliness, and readiness. These are the things we carry alone. This episode sets them down in the open. Why This Episode Matters These aren't just questions — they’re emotional crossroads.Most people bring them into therapy last, if ever.But naming them is the beginning of healing, clarity, and choosing differently. Perfect For You If… You’re in a season of confusion about love or relationships You’re healing from a breakup You’re dating but frustrated by your patterns You want a healthier relationship with intimacy and connection You’re afraid to ask the questions that matter most Listen Now Every question in this episode is a doorway. Step through. 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

You hear that?

0:03.0

That's not just a Toyota truck.

0:06.0

That's the sound of no crowds, no alerts, no distractions, and no telling what you'll find next.

0:18.0

You know, like a detour.

0:21.6

So why would you ever take a tour

0:23.6

and you could take a detour?

0:26.6

Toyota Trucks.

0:28.6

Things you would never bring up in therapy,

0:32.6

you could bring up here.

0:49.3

Why do I feel like I'm in my 30s and have never truly lived? I want sex, fun and adventure, yet I stop myself.

0:53.3

Why am I scared and losing hope?

0:56.4

I could totally relate to being in my 30s and not feeling alive. This is when I was a miserable

1:01.7

again. I was just chasing shine. You know, I got to say, life didn't happen for me until I

1:09.8

turned 40, and it took me that long to have a better relationship

1:14.7

with myself you know take a black light to my life and to figure out what mattered what I want

1:23.2

to finally have a voice to give myself what I needed.

1:28.3

And I don't know if I'm answering your question, I'm probably not going to, but I think instead of making it about anyone else, like you said, you want sex.

1:37.3

Okay, what kind of sex do you want? You know?

1:40.3

Give yourself what you need right now and build your relationship with yourself in your 30s.

1:47.0

So as you move into your late 30s and 40s, you create runway for a life that is authentic.

1:55.0

And you can also bring a whole self to any relationship instead of a relationship that is

2:01.9

lopsided and you are seeking something in someone else because you don't have it in

...

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